Why does Society Hate Families?

[Nammy]

The New York Times, which based its report on an analysis of census results, said 51 percent of women in 2005 reported living without a spouse, up from 35 percent in 1950 and 49 percent in 2000.

"Coupled with the fact that in 2005 married couples became a minority of all American households for the first time, the trend could ultimately shape social and workplace policies, including the ways government and employers distribute benefits," the newspaper said.

It said that several factors are behind the shift including women marrying at a later age and living with partners for more often and for longer periods. Women are also living longer as widows and once divorced, often opt to stay single, the report said.

Majority of US women living without spouse - Yahoo! News (http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20070116/ts_alt_afp/afplifestyleuswomen)

What is this invisible factor that is leading us down a path of single people, single mothers (voluntary ones at least), dead-beat fathers, etc.? What is it? Why are we seeing less married people and broken or disjointed families more and more?

[InterestedParty]

Excellent question.

I have my theory. Feminism and something known as counterculture. We all know what feminism is. Counterculture is a term used to describe a cultural group whose values and norms of behavior run counter to those of the social mainstream of the day.

I don't normally like to cite Wikipedia on the internet when it comes to issues but a description that I found there of the different "American Generations" is very informative and enlightening to what is happening in our country today. Anyone who wants to better understand the various social and political movements should read what is there.

Here is a link to the "Generation" that I feel speaks directly to your question. it is known as the Consciousness Revolution.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Consciousness_Revolution

Take the time and read it and maybe read about a few of the other generations. I think it would be wonderful to have a discussion about the material afterwards.

[saggyjones]

I agree with InterestedParty but I have something to add. Women are taking new roles and aren't marrying as much anymore because they are finding they have more opportunities. As our society evolves and there is less sexism women can have careers like men.

[inbadfaith]

I agree with what all of you had to say. It just seems to be a shift in culture. Why get married when society no longer condemns having children outside of a marriage? Whey get married when you can have the option of jumping ship without paying those divorce fees, dealing with prenupitals, not to mention the issue of child custody?

I also think it is because America is becoming more and more apathetic. Of course we still have religious folks who become more and more conservative, but generally, we seem to live in a culture of apathy.

People now marry later in life... why? Career opportunities, longevity (at least in developing nations) , and because there is no need to wait to have intercourse.

I also think that media influence is a factor. We see more independent, career driven, single women these days. Hey, if celebrities taking birth control pills can have sway over the total fertility rate of women in Egypt, then I am sure that this image of the single women or unattached bachelor will have an influence on the American population.

[Friendindeed]

I agree with what all of you had to say. It just seems to be a shift in culture. Why get married when society no longer condemns having children outside of a marriage? Whey get married when you can have the option of jumping ship without paying those divorce fees, dealing with prenupitals, not to mention the issue of child custody?


Erhm, you still have to deal with the issue of child custody regardless.

The reason people still get married is because they care how their children turn out, they don't just make their decisions based on what society condemns. And they want to make a public commitment.

[saggyjones]

Erhm, you still have to deal with the issue of child custody regardless.

The reason people still get married is because they care how their children turn out, they don't just make their decisions based on what society condemns. And they want to make a public commitment.

You can raise a child just fine without getting married. All a child needs is a loving person to take care of him/her.

[Friendindeed]

You can raise a child just fine without getting married. All a child needs is a loving person to take care of him/her.

Sure but the results are consistently better with two parents.

[saggyjones]

Sure but the results are consistently better with two parents.

That's true. Children of divorced parents have a higher % of turning out "bad" than children with two parents. But I think a loving, caring guardian can raise a child just as well as two parents. It all depends on the individual parent(s).

[Friendindeed]

That's true. Children of divorced parents have a higher % of turning out "bad" than children with two parents. But I think a loving, caring guardian can raise a child just as well as two parents. It all depends on the individual parent(s).

Let's look at what you just wrote.
First, it's not just children of divorced parents who have a lower chance of success. Those statistics are equally true for children of single parents.

Obviously then, a single "guardian" can NOT raise a child just as well as two parents generally speaking.

That is just basic logic.

[saggyjones]

Let's look at what you just wrote.
First, it's not just children of divorced parents who have a lower chance of success. Those statistics are equally true for children of single parents.

I realize that, that's why I said "that's true". Lol you aren't very good at realizing when someone is agreeing with you.

Obviously then, a single "guardian" can NOT raise a child just as well as two parents generally speaking.

That is just basic logic.

That's true, generally speaking. All I am saying is that it depends on the individual parent, and just because someone is single doesn't mean they will automatically raise their child worse than two parents.

[The Founders Intent]

Nammy, why does your data automatically mean that the society hates families?

[vyo476]

Nammy, why does your data automatically mean that the society hates families?

I think that "society hates families" is more of metaphor for the shift away from the family unit in modern America.

[PLC1]

The New York Times, which based its report on an analysis of census results, said 51 percent of women in 2005 reported living without a spouse, up from 35 percent in 1950 and 49 percent in 2000.

"Coupled with the fact that in 2005 married couples became a minority of all American households for the first time, the trend could ultimately shape social and workplace policies, including the ways government and employers distribute benefits," the newspaper said.

It said that several factors are behind the shift including women marrying at a later age and living with partners for more often and for longer periods. Women are also living longer as widows and once divorced, often opt to stay single, the report said.

Majority of US women living without spouse - Yahoo! News (http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20070116/ts_alt_afp/afplifestyleuswomen)

What is this invisible factor that is leading us down a path of single people, single mothers (voluntary ones at least), dead-beat fathers, etc.? What is it? Why are we seeing less married people and broken or disjointed families more and more?


Your link didn't work for me, but as I recall it, the definition of "woman" in the study included all females over the ripe old age of 16. It isn't quite as bad as it sounds, but it's still bad enough.

The invisible factor, in a nutshell, is selfishness. People don't want a commitment (like having a child isn't a commitment!), so they don't marry. Sometimes, people who do marry don't want to give up their own selfish interests in favor of those of the family.

Years ago, living together without being married was frowned upon as a low class lifestyle, something done by "trailer trash". The term "common-law wife" was a pejorative. Now, "living in sin" seems to be quite acceptable and no longer stigmatized.

That's too bad, because a child has a much better chance in life if his/her parents are totally committed to each other and to the child.

If every child brought into this world had two parents who cared more for each other than for themselves, and more for the child than for their own interests, most of our societal ills would disappear in a generation.

[RadicalActor]

Nammy, why does your data automatically mean that the society hates families?

I think he's just using the rhetoric of exaggeration to get people to view this thread more.

[invest07]

The strong, intact nuclear family represents a view of the world that is counter to modern liberalism. Strong families look out for themselves and create less need for government. Strong families pass on strong values, which means the children are less susceptible to outside influences. Strong families are more secure, financially and psychologically and less susceptible to scare tactics. The strong nuclear family is also a bulwark of Biblical teaching.
The strong nuclear family is no longer politically correct because it presents a workable alternative to modern liberalism.

[zerorelations]

Then why is it that the divorce rates and illegitimate children are proliferating?

[vyo476]

The strong, intact nuclear family represents a view of the world that is counter to modern liberalism. Strong families look out for themselves and create less need for government. Strong families pass on strong values, which means the children are less susceptible to outside influences. Strong families are more secure, financially and psychologically and less susceptible to scare tactics. The strong nuclear family is also a bulwark of Biblical teaching.
The strong nuclear family is no longer politically correct because it presents a workable alternative to modern liberalism.

Yeah, either that or the "strong nuclear family" is an example of cultural repression at its greatest. White picket fences, the morning paper on the lawn, all that "honey, I'm home" BS...you get the picture.

Or maybe there's the part where the "nuclear family" isn't as prevalent as you might think. Where Dad is a bitter alcoholic and Mom sits around at home watching game shows all day and spending money on useless commercial crap. That's the situation I grew up in - well, actually, my mother has Multiple Sclerosis and can't walk, but beside that my family very closely resembles what I just described.

Or there's the part where urban settings don't exactly foster these nuclear families very well.

I mean, while we're generalizing I thought I might throw those three out there.

[evelyna]

I do not think society hates families at all. Don't they get a gov. credit for how many children they have.
The gov. does not appreciate anyone in a caring position only because there is no money to be made.
Most women divorce because of abuse. The man being lazy counts as such to me too.

[heyjude]

Changing mores has freed men and women from bad marriages. If I had it to do over, I go to a sperm bank so there would be no custody issues.

[PLC1]

Changing mores has freed men and women from bad marriages. If I had it to do over, I go to a sperm bank so there would be no custody issues.

I sense a history of unhappy marriage there.

I've been married for nearly 40 years, and wouldn't want to go back and live life alone. I especially wouldn't want to try my hand at raising children alone. Raising them as a team is hard enough.

My niece, on the other hand, refers to her dad (divorced for many years) as "the man my mom married."

Maybe some people just aren't meant to be part of a family?:confused:

[9sublime]

This is such a whinging topic, "Why does society hate families?", it reminds me of Paris Hilton asking her daddy "Why does everybody hate me?"

Look to the governments, the culture and the lifestyle of countries in the West if you want to start on the thousands of reasons why families are failing today.

[Cheshire Cat]

That's too bad, because a child has a much better chance in life if his/her parents are totally committed to each other and to the child.

If every child brought into this world had two parents who cared more for each other than for themselves, and more for the child than for their own interests, most of our societal ills would disappear in a generation.
The key is putting the children first. I divorced when my kids were very young, but both of us always put the best interests of the children first (well, I always did, occasionally the ex didn't), but the key was that we were both active in raising the children, they still grew up with a loving father and mother. They currently are 17 and 19 years old, and living in their own house. They are managing quite well for full time students.

[top gun]

The New York Times, which based its report on an analysis of census results, said 51 percent of women in 2005 reported living without a spouse, up from 35 percent in 1950 and 49 percent in 2000.

"Coupled with the fact that in 2005 married couples became a minority of all American households for the first time, the trend could ultimately shape social and workplace policies, including the ways government and employers distribute benefits," the newspaper said.

It said that several factors are behind the shift including women marrying at a later age and living with partners for more often and for longer periods. Women are also living longer as widows and once divorced, often opt to stay single, the report said.

Majority of US women living without spouse - Yahoo! News (http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20070116/ts_alt_afp/afplifestyleuswomen)

What is this invisible factor that is leading us down a path of single people, single mothers (voluntary ones at least), dead-beat fathers, etc.? What is it? Why are we seeing less married people and broken or disjointed families more and more?


I don't think it has anything to do with "Society hating families". I think it has everything to do with circumstances and the reality of the world we live in. I see at least 3 main reasons why people are either holding off on marriage, divorcing, living together, or not re-marrying.

#1) Unlike times past women are not tied to the need to be supported. Today's society has them much more self sufficient.

#2) People tend not to stay in bad relationships as long most likely due to watching those relationships growing up.

#3) Men see the inequity in the court system should a marriage they enter into break down.

The only thing that really matters here is the kids if any...

P.S. Just attended a friends wedding yesterday... hoping much better for them!:)

[PLC1]

The key is putting the children first. I divorced when my kids were very young, but both of us always put the best interests of the children first (well, I always did, occasionally the ex didn't), but the key was that we were both active in raising the children, they still grew up with a loving father and mother. They currently are 17 and 19 years old, and living in their own house. They are managing quite well for full time students.

Good for you. I can understand how two adults can grow apart, or discover that they really have nothing in common, or find out too late that they are in an abusive relationship, but I've never understood how anyone can abandon their children.

But some do.:(

[Justinian]

Changing mores has freed men and women from bad marriages. If I had it to do over, I go to a sperm bank so there would be no custody issues.

Bad marriages happen because of poor upbringing and poor decisions. You can't possibly be naive enough to believe that 55% of couples being divorced is individual, social or national progress.

[Justinian]

Good for you. I can understand how two adults can grow apart, or discover that they really have nothing in common, or find out too late that they are in an abusive relationship, but I've never understood how anyone can abandon their children.

But some do.:(

Because its... convenient. Anyhow, a large portion of the statistics are from the black community too.

[Justinian]

The only thing that really matters here is the kids if any...

Perhaps you'd want to think a little deeper and consider using a wider palette when turning in your head the importance of marriage and a healthy, functional, honorable family.