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Economics explained

Discussion in 'Political Humor' started by zerorelations, Apr 14, 2007.

  1. zerorelations

    zerorelations New Member

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    SOCIALISM:
    You have 2 cows.
    You give one to your neighbour.

    COMMUNISM:
    You have 2 cows.
    The Government takes both and gives you some milk.

    FASCISM:
    You have 2 cows.
    The Government takes both and sells you some milk.

    NAZISM:
    You have 2 cows.
    The Government takes both and shoots you.

    BUREAUCRATISM:
    You have 2 cows.
    The Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away...

    TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
    You have two cows.
    You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

    AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
    You have two cows.
    You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.

    A FRENCH CORPORATION:
    You have two cows.
    You go on strike because you want three cows.

    A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
    You have two cows.
    You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

    A GERMAN CORPORATION:
    You have two cows.
    You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

    AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
    You have two cows
    But you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

    A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
    You have two cows.
    You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

    A SWISS CORPORATION:
    You have 5000 cows
    None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

    A CHINESE CORPORATION:
    You have two cows.
    You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

    AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
    You have two cows.
    You worship them.

    A BRITISH CORPORATION:
    You have two cows.
    Both are mad.

    AN IRISH FARMER:
    You have two cows.
    You claim government subsidies for eight cows
     
  2. vyo476

    vyo476 Active Member

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    Um...ha ha? I could pick out four of them that were excellent metaphors and the rest were almost certainly for entertainment's sake.
     
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  3. Grounded

    Grounded New Member

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    My favorite is the Japanese corporation.
     
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  4. USMC the Almighty

    USMC the Almighty New Member

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    I like the French one.
     
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  5. Everylyric

    Everylyric New Member

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    Heh, yeah the French one is pretty good.
     
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  6. vyo476

    vyo476 Active Member

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    Even better:

    A French Corporation.
    You have two cows. You surrender your cows to someone else.
     
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  7. Grounded

    Grounded New Member

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    Heh. I was waiting for someone to say something like that. :p
     
  8. vyo476

    vyo476 Active Member

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    Sorry, couldn't help it. I don't have anything personal against the French; they're just easy to pick on is all.
     
  9. come together

    come together New Member

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    Super funny!

    A swedish corporation:

    Keeps both cows because the government just posted a new law towards lonely animals in captivity.
     
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  10. PoliticsFan

    PoliticsFan New Member

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    Heh. My Swedish friend would enjoy that one.
    :D
     
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  11. Lilly Marlene

    Lilly Marlene New Member

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    That was a fun one, hereyago -

    I like the Bureaucrat one !!!
     
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  12. Pandora

    Pandora Well-Known Member

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    This was funny !!
     
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