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Republican Convention Schedule leaked

Discussion in 'Political Humor' started by Popeye, Aug 25, 2008.

  1. Popeye

    Popeye Well-Known Member

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    There's been several variations on this but I have it on good authority that this is the real thing.

    7:00 pm – Ceremonial burning of the U.S. Constitution
    7:15 pm – Spiritual Medium Sylvia Browne performs psychic séance in desperate attempt to raise Ronald Reagan from the grave
    7:35 pm – "The Pleasures of Adultery" - with Newt Gingrich & Rudy Giuliani
    8:05 pm – Gay sex party in Men's Restroom hosted by Senator Larry Craig
    8:35 pm - Transvestite Ann Coulter – "My Life as a Man"
    8:55 pm – Live satellite feed from Federal Prison – Ohio Rep. Bob Ney
    9:05 pm – Guest speaker ex-Florida Congressman Mark Foley " Joys with Young Boys"
    9:25 pm – Oliver North – " Iran is Evil, but I sold them weapons anyway"
    9:40 pm – Bill O' Reilly – " The costs of sexual harassment and phone sex with employees"
    10:00 pm – Gay sex party in Men's Room hosted by Ken Mehlman and Geraldo Rivera
    10:25 pm – Check John McCain to see if he's still breathing and if his adult diaper needs changed.
    10:35 pm – N.R.A. President hosts an assault riffle target practice on Gays and Mexicans.
    10:45 pm - Call emergency squad after a drunken Dick Cheney accidentally shoots his friend in the face.
    11:00 pm – President Bush performs his hilarious comedy routine where he looks for Iraq's fictitious WMD's under guests tables.
    11:15 pm – Governor Mike Huckabee does his famous uncanny imitation of Gomer Pyle.
    11:20 pm – Group intervention to get Rush Limbaugh back into drug rehab
    11: 45 pm – Go up on rooftop and throw rocks down at homeless Vets sleeping in alley.
    12:00 am – Live satellite feed from Federal Prison – California Congressman Randy "Duke" Cunningham
    12:20 am – Convicted felon/Fox News analyst G. Gordon Liddy – Lock picking secrets
    12: 40 am – Guest speakers Donald Rumsfeld and Paul Wolfowitz – "How to lie your Country into a War"
    1:00 am – Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay – "Tips on Money Laundering"
    1:15 am – Hookers arrive for after party
     
  2. BigRob

    BigRob Well-Known Member

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    Why can't the hookers come at 7?
     
  3. Popeye

    Popeye Well-Known Member

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    They're busy burning the Constitution.
     
  4. BigRob

    BigRob Well-Known Member

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    Well what time does the Jack Daniels arrive, I am boycotting until that hour.
     
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