Rudolph the Red-Nosed Boxer

[Onion Eater]

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Boxer
Had a very shiny nose,
And if you ever sparred with him,
You could even say it glows.

All of the other pugilists
Used to laugh and call him names;
They always said poor Rudolph
Would never go to the Olympic Games.

Then one foggy tournament eve,
The boxing coach came to say:
“Rudolph with your nose so bright,
Won't you block those jabs tonight?"

Then how the crowd all loved him
As they shouted out with glee,
“Rudolph the Red-Nosed Boxer,
You'll go down in history."

___________________________________________


Jingle mail! Jingle mail!
Jingle all the way!
Oh what fun it is to renounce,
An upside-down mortgage today!


This version is intended to replace that old classic:


Jingle bells! Santa smells!
Rudolph laid an egg!
Oh what fun it is to ride,
In a four-door Chevrolet!


Fifty years from now, when you sing Santa Smells to your grandkids, they will respond, "Chev... ro... let? What's that? Is that similar to a Toyota or a Honda?"

Of course, my version will require no explanation, as your grandkids will have heard the term "upside-down mortgage" many times while viewing President Sean Federline on the vid, claiming that he is sure that his latest stimulus program will succeed in lifting America out of its "lost century."

Click here for more humorous songs and poetry.

 

[PLC1]

Randolph, the Red Necked Reindeer,
Had a car that would not run.
And, if you ever saw it,
You would surely know how come.
All his reindeer neighbors,
Saw this thing upon his lawn,
They only wished that Randolph,
And his junk would soon be gone.

Then, one foggy Christmas Eve,
Santa came to say,
"Randolph, could your old coon dog,
Sniff his way through all this fog?"
Then all the reindeer loved him,
As they shouted out with joy,
"Randolph, the Red Necked Reindeer,
You are just a good old boy!"

 

[The Scotsman]

well there's only one christmas carol worth singing.........

 

[Dude111]

Very good thread!

Interesting versions of songs

 

[Bunz]

Entertaining, thanks for the posts.
But I think it is worthy to point out that male reindeer/caribou are the only deer where both male and female grow antlers. To add to this, the male antlers are shed by the males shortly after breeding season and before winter, sometime before December. Therefore Santa's reindeer are all females, as thier antlers dont shed until after they have thier calves.
This here is a quote from the Alaska Ear a "gossip" section of the Anchorage Daily News...http://www.adn.com/news/politics/alaska_ear/story/635460.html

RIPPED FROM THE NET ... It's been around for a while, but still worth noting:
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.

Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, every single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, is a girl.

We should've known. ...

Only women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

Its all in good fun up here, but a common misconception among lower 48ers and those around the globe.
Either way, Caribou which provide millions of children with transportation of Santa, are quite good eating.

 

[Mare Tranquillity]

well there's only one christmas carol worth singing.........

That was worth a "green" but the system won't allow me to give you one.