Rudolph the Red-Nosed Boxer Had a very shiny nose, And if you ever sparred with him, You could even say it glows. All of the other pugilists Used to laugh and call him names; They always said poor Rudolph Would never go to the Olympic Games. Then one foggy tournament eve, The boxing coach came to say: “Rudolph with your nose so bright, Won't you block those jabs tonight?" Then how the crowd all loved him As they shouted out with glee, “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Boxer, You'll go down in history." ___________________________________________ Jingle mail! Jingle mail! Jingle all the way! Oh what fun it is to renounce, An upside-down mortgage today! This version is intended to replace that old classic: Jingle bells! Santa smells! Rudolph laid an egg! Oh what fun it is to ride, In a four-door Chevrolet! Fifty years from now, when you sing Santa Smells to your grandkids, they will respond, "Chev... ro... let? What's that? Is that similar to a Toyota or a Honda?" Of course, my version will require no explanation, as your grandkids will have heard the term "upside-down mortgage" many times while viewing President Sean Federline on the vid, claiming that he is sure that his latest stimulus program will succeed in lifting America out of its "lost century." Click here for more humorous songs and poetry.