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So, what do we DO on Wednesday morning?

Discussion in 'U.S. Politics' started by bwana, Oct 31, 2008.

  1. bwana

    bwana New Member

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    Pending Tuesday night’s Presidential election returns the following donut-bailout plan has been established by a bi-partisan committee. The Libertarians and Green Parties have filed formal complaints that a tri-partisan or quad-ra-partisan accord was not considered. No official comment has been received from the Whigs about a sep-partisan plan.

    If the Obama/Biden ticket wins, all who voted Republican must buy donuts for the office staff. The cost of donuts will remain the same but two of each dozen of the donuts will be evenly distributed to the homeless, single parent households, veterans, family-owned farms, UNICEF and a few retired South Beach millionaires through Social Security entitlement loopholes.

    If the McCain/Palin ticket wins, all who voted Democratic must buy donuts for the office. The good news is, they only have to buy for staff members who earn more than $250,000/year salary but the bad news is, they have to buy them from Exxon now and the cost went up to about $300 per dozen due to an unforeseen spike in the cost of donut boxes and hairnets.

    In an unrelated story, the donut box and hairnet industry will post a record profit of $600 billion on Thursday morning. Lobbyists for the donut box and hairnet industry will be unavailable for comment because they will all still be arguing with the donut shop counter lady about their missing damn donuts.

    If Ralph Nader wins, everybody gets to buy their own damn donuts but people smarter than you will remove all the calories, taste, sugar and sharp corners for your own damn good.

    God Bless the United States of America and fresh donuts for all.
     
    1 person likes this.
  2. bododie

    bododie New Member

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    State police say an upstate New York college campus policeman was helping himself to free pastries at a local convenience store.

    The Valero Nice N Easy offers free coffee to any police officer in uniform.

    Sgt. Steve Brody of the Morrisville State College University Police stopped daily to buy a newspaper and pick up a free cup of coffee. He also routinely stuffed a pastry into his coat.
    Brody is now accused of taking about $30 worth of pastries over at least 17 separate occasions.

    Brody, 55, of Morrisville, was ticketed for petit larceny. Troopers say they have surveillance videos.

    Brody and his defense attorney declined to comment. Brody remains an employee at Morrisville; school officials say the case is a personnel matter and refused further comment.


    Sorry, no donuts left.
     
  3. pocketfullofshells

    pocketfullofshells Well-Known Member

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    land of 10,000 lakes and 2 senators again
    am I the only one lost here?
     
  4. TruthAboveAll

    TruthAboveAll Active Member

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    Original, I'm guessing? Very witty!
     
  5. bwana

    bwana New Member

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    Nope. Your government just handed 800 billion+ to "bail out" wealthy financial institutions, allowed oil companies to gouge billions of dollars in "profts" from you and your fellow Americans, stands idly by while insurance companies withhold medical care when their cases become too expensive and allow them to place their profits ahead of ethical health care, and place more value in oil reserves than the human beings that happen to live in the deserts on top of them.

    No, you are not remotely the only one lost here. We lose a few more every day.
     
  6. Mr. Shaman

    Mr. Shaman New Member

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    Note to McBush-supporters:

    That hard-work (to which The Idiot Son refers....and, most-often avoids) has never killed anyone.

    Try some.....for a Change.​
     
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