1. Discuss politics - join our community by registering for free here! HOP - the political discussion forum

Some Truth to this...

Discussion in 'Political Humor' started by Gipper, Mar 28, 2013.

  1. Gipper

    Gipper Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2009
    Messages:
    6,077
    Likes Received:
    387
    Location:
    Winter Wonderland
    SOCIALISM
    You have 2 cows.
    You give one to your neighbour

    COMMUNISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and gives you some milk

    FASCISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and sells you some milk

    NAZISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and shoots you

    BUREAUCRATISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then
    throws the milk away

    TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
    You have two cows.
    You sell one and buy a bull.
    Your herd multiplies, and the economy
    grows.
    You sell them and retire on the income

    ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
    You have two cows.
    You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by
    your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption
    for five cows.
    The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
    The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
    The public then buys your bull.

    SURREALISM
    You have two giraffes.
    The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

    AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You sell one, and force the other to
    produce the milk of four cows.
    Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why
    the cow has dropped dead.

    A GREEK CORPORATION
    You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds,
    dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds.
    You still only have two cows.

    A FRENCH CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three
    cows.

    A JAPANESE CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce
    twenty times the milk.
    You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and
    market it worldwide.

    AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows,
    but you don't know where they are.
    You decide to have lunch.

    A SWISS CORPORATION
    You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
    You charge the owners for storing them.

    A CHINESE CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You have 300 people milking them.
    You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
    You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

    AN INDIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You worship them.

    A BRITISH CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    Both are mad.

    AN IRAQI CORPORATION
    Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
    You tell them that you have none.
    No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country.
    You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

    AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    Business seems pretty good.
    You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

    A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    The one on the left looks very attractive...
     
  2. Iolo2

    Iolo2 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2012
    Messages:
    545
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Rhondda
    Capitalism: you steal everything that isn't nailed down and complain bitterly about wicked socialist nails.
     
  3. Gipper

    Gipper Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2009
    Messages:
    6,077
    Likes Received:
    387
    Location:
    Winter Wonderland
    Sorry but socialism is slavery. Sad that you prefer being a slave.
     
    Cruella likes this.
  4. dogtowner

    dogtowner Moderator Staff Member

    Joined:
    Dec 24, 2009
    Messages:
    17,848
    Likes Received:
    1,464
    Location:
    Wandering around

    not to mention noting the particular subforum this is posted to.
    lefties have no sense of humor.
     
  5. Iolo2

    Iolo2 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2012
    Messages:
    545
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Rhondda
    Grow up, if you can. Your masters are not really so powerful as to stop you thinking, you know. Amazing that the US was once the progressive centre of the world, and is now wrecked back to a lot of holy peasants hating thought.

    The bit about sense of humour is, coming from yanks, hilarious.
     
  6. Cruella

    Cruella Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2012
    Messages:
    4,311
    Likes Received:
    726
    Yuri Bezmenov (ex-KGB)

    "...the psychological shock when they will see in [the] future what the beautiful society of EQUALITY and social justice means in practice, obviously they will revolt. They will be very unhappy [and] frustrated people, and Marxist-Leninist regime does not tolerate these people. Obviously they will join the [ranks] of dissenters; dissidents. Unlike the present United States there will be no place for dissent in future Marxist-Leninist America.

    . In [the] future these people will simply be squashed like cockroaches for criticizing the government. Nobody is going to pay them nothing for their beautiful [and] noble ideas of EQUALITY. This they don't understand and it will be the greatest shock for them, of course."
     
    Gipper and dogtowner like this.
  7. Gipper

    Gipper Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2009
    Messages:
    6,077
    Likes Received:
    387
    Location:
    Winter Wonderland
    I guess cavemen do not understand humor with a touch of reality.

    The United States is a mess because fools run it. Most of the fools are progressives and statists....like you. You should love the United States in its current state of moderate fascism, since it resembles the USSR more with each passing day.
     
    Rafael Norma and dogtowner like this.
  8. Rafael Norma

    Rafael Norma Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 28, 2007
    Messages:
    1,201
    Likes Received:
    19
    In #Mexico we've the same problem: I can't see even my own family, due to inmovilization in the #DeFecadoDeFectuoso ( Mexico City) Thanks to #OPCORRUPCION in government
    http://tinyurl.com/cyjkze3
     
  9. Dr.Who

    Dr.Who Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2007
    Messages:
    6,776
    Likes Received:
    251
    Location:
    Horse Country
    DEMOCRATS:

    There are two cows, the guy who raised the cows from calves must give all the milk to the gov who redistributes some to gay, women while the polticians keep some of the milk for themselves.

    REPUBLICANS:

    Everybody who owns a cow should keep it or sell it except that various laws will allow the biggest donors to get a grant to buy cows at twice their market value.

    AN ODD REALITY IN THE U.S.

    Everyone who owns cows must sell the milk to a coop which will then pasteurize it, homogenize it, sterilize it, box it, put it on a shelf for six months and if anyone tries to drink it without going through this process the EPA will persecute them. No one wonders if milk that is shelf stable for six months is even healthy.

    PROGRESSIVES:

    There are two cows. Are they black with white spots or white with black spots? The gov will have the cows fill out 65 pages of forms and if it is a black cow it is favored but if it is a white cow it is persecuted.

    COSERVATIVES: Cows should only be treated the way they were in the glorious 50's.
     
Loading...

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice