Imagine a world without Democrats…
I’m starting to feel happier already. I know what you’re thinking though.
“But nobull, who’s going to control us with fear of an ecological holocaust? Who’s going to remind us what failures we are? Who’s going to save us from our own ignorance? Who’s going to take care of us from cradle to grave? Who’s going to make sure that the grave comes before the cradle?”
Nicely played, young apprentice. You make me proud. Look how many reasons you’ve already provided for ridding the world of Democrats. Keep watching and learning from Grand Master, and one day you will be as great and wise as me. Then you too will always be right.
Now it’s time to take a journey with me and discover five reasons why the world would be a better place without Democrats:
Democrats want you to hand over your money.
Careful there strong-willed one. You are getting close to being one of the evil “wealthiest one percent.” You need to pay your fair share in taxes for providing employment and products and services to so many. We Democrats are here to remind you that all your hard work and contributions to society mean nothing unless you pay higher taxes.
Democrats want you to hand over your responsibility.
Well hello there, Joe Bob Joe. Just look at all those children you have there, running around in bare feet. We can provide you and your children with free health care, free education, and freedom from parental responsibility. Look, little Joe Bob Joe Jr. looks a little hyperactive. We have some pills that will make it easier to manage him and make him into a good little zombie of the state.
No, Joe Bob Joe. Don’t go teachin’ them there chillun about your values. What do you know about values anyway? Look at how you live. We Democrats drive fancy cars, live in fancy estates, and went to fancy universities. Can you say “You-nee-ver-si-tee?” Close enough.
Clearly we Democrats know more than you about what’s best for you children.
Democrats want you to hand over your free will.
Hi there Thomas. You look like a fine African-American. Are those beautiful children yours? Oh, that’s your niece and nephew. We Democrats can provide you with public housing and food stamps to help you raise your sister’s children.
Wait, where are you going? You just started your own small business and your off to meet with some new potential clients? Careful there Uncle Tom. Your skin tone is looking a little light. Why don’t you sit down and have some Oreos with the children and think long and hard about where your place is.
Democrats want you to be a victim.
Look. It’s migrant worker Juan. I see you’re doing the work that Americans won’t do. We Democrats want to help put you on a path to citizenship so that you can vote for us and receive minimum wage for your work. We’ll make your employer provide you with benefits too.
What’s that? You came here legally? Well then, I’m starting to fear that some racists might think you’re just another dirty brown person and harm you. Democrats can protect you by keeping guns out of the hands of the law abiding, and making hate-crime legislation. You need us, Juan.
Democrats just don’t trust you.
Congratulations Sally! Your pregnancy test just showed that you have a fetus in the womb. Now you can show your independence and remove that barrier to your success. You can thank Democrats for preserving your right to choose.
What? You want to have the baby? Think how much more fulfilling your life will be if you orient your life around a career. We Democrats gave you the right to choose, and you chose wrong. That’s OK though, Sally. We Democrats will be there every step of the way to make sure that your daughter makes the right choice.
It’s easy to see that Democrats will only exist if you need them. If you
Believe that the money you earn is yours to choose how to spend or save
Embrace responsibility
Exercise your free will
Empower yourself
Trust yourself to make better choices for you than the government will
Then you have already taken the first step in creating a world without Democrats by not needing them.
All in fun
Doug
I’m starting to feel happier already. I know what you’re thinking though.
“But nobull, who’s going to control us with fear of an ecological holocaust? Who’s going to remind us what failures we are? Who’s going to save us from our own ignorance? Who’s going to take care of us from cradle to grave? Who’s going to make sure that the grave comes before the cradle?”
Nicely played, young apprentice. You make me proud. Look how many reasons you’ve already provided for ridding the world of Democrats. Keep watching and learning from Grand Master, and one day you will be as great and wise as me. Then you too will always be right.
Now it’s time to take a journey with me and discover five reasons why the world would be a better place without Democrats:
Democrats want you to hand over your money.
Careful there strong-willed one. You are getting close to being one of the evil “wealthiest one percent.” You need to pay your fair share in taxes for providing employment and products and services to so many. We Democrats are here to remind you that all your hard work and contributions to society mean nothing unless you pay higher taxes.
Democrats want you to hand over your responsibility.
Well hello there, Joe Bob Joe. Just look at all those children you have there, running around in bare feet. We can provide you and your children with free health care, free education, and freedom from parental responsibility. Look, little Joe Bob Joe Jr. looks a little hyperactive. We have some pills that will make it easier to manage him and make him into a good little zombie of the state.
No, Joe Bob Joe. Don’t go teachin’ them there chillun about your values. What do you know about values anyway? Look at how you live. We Democrats drive fancy cars, live in fancy estates, and went to fancy universities. Can you say “You-nee-ver-si-tee?” Close enough.
Clearly we Democrats know more than you about what’s best for you children.
Democrats want you to hand over your free will.
Hi there Thomas. You look like a fine African-American. Are those beautiful children yours? Oh, that’s your niece and nephew. We Democrats can provide you with public housing and food stamps to help you raise your sister’s children.
Wait, where are you going? You just started your own small business and your off to meet with some new potential clients? Careful there Uncle Tom. Your skin tone is looking a little light. Why don’t you sit down and have some Oreos with the children and think long and hard about where your place is.
Democrats want you to be a victim.
Look. It’s migrant worker Juan. I see you’re doing the work that Americans won’t do. We Democrats want to help put you on a path to citizenship so that you can vote for us and receive minimum wage for your work. We’ll make your employer provide you with benefits too.
What’s that? You came here legally? Well then, I’m starting to fear that some racists might think you’re just another dirty brown person and harm you. Democrats can protect you by keeping guns out of the hands of the law abiding, and making hate-crime legislation. You need us, Juan.
Democrats just don’t trust you.
Congratulations Sally! Your pregnancy test just showed that you have a fetus in the womb. Now you can show your independence and remove that barrier to your success. You can thank Democrats for preserving your right to choose.
What? You want to have the baby? Think how much more fulfilling your life will be if you orient your life around a career. We Democrats gave you the right to choose, and you chose wrong. That’s OK though, Sally. We Democrats will be there every step of the way to make sure that your daughter makes the right choice.
It’s easy to see that Democrats will only exist if you need them. If you
Believe that the money you earn is yours to choose how to spend or save
Embrace responsibility
Exercise your free will
Empower yourself
Trust yourself to make better choices for you than the government will
Then you have already taken the first step in creating a world without Democrats by not needing them.
All in fun
Doug
