Today is the Day

Today is the day I finally decided I'm the last real American alive. Omega Man II -- the Fat Guy. I've been working up to that idea for a while. Every time I try to talk to the morons at work about what's going on in the world, I get a little surer. And this week, between the death of the Swede, the latest news from Iraq, and all the morons with opinions about Iran, I'm ready to say it out loud: the population of America is one fat War Nerd and 300 million dumb suckers.

 

Does that include all 'sock puppets' as well?

 

no Sock Puppets dont count. well...shoot...can you hold a rifle?

 

A sock puppet can do some amazing things... My sock puppet is a supporter of the NRA.

 

You have a very strange sock puppet.

 

Well yeah... how many sock puppets do you know that have a full head of blonde foam hair?

 

Guess I'm still new as I'm not sure how you arrived at the conclusion that Americans are all war nerds consisting of 300 million dumb suckers.

I'll hold my rants pending clarification.

-Castle

 

You are indeed a unique puppet.


Most go bald at an early age. Sock Puppetry is a very stressful occupation.

 

NO no, try reading it again.

the population of America is one fat War Nerd(thats me) and 300 million dumb suckers, thats you and everyone else.

 

Yes indeed.

 

Just don't get between Armchair General and his armchair....it wouldn't be pretty

 

That sounds like a dangerous assignment for my wee little sock puppet!

 

Define what makes you the one fat war nerd and me one of the 300 million dumb suckers. You make some rather wild assumptions it appears. Unless, of course, this is all in jest.

-Castle

 

hell no, IM serious.

Well, ok, except maybe Richard Clarke. He told the patriotic truth and nobody cared. This guy is what I mean when I say there's a big difference between a patriot and a sucker like PaleRider or Dave. Clarke is an old-school patriot, the kind of man America used to be proud of, a guy who's spent his whole life defending the country, who loves the flag and doesn't give a **** for all the combat-dodging frat boys who dragged us into this Iraqi ****-swamp.

Clarke is the real thing, tough as whitleather, the way Americans used to be. He said the one simple thing nobody has the guts to say: Bush has ruined America by going after Iraq, when everybody knew Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11.

Now the Iraqis are kicking our asses in public, the Iraqis, goddamn it, the worst soldiers in the world! We turned them into warriors by invading their country with no spies, no snitches, no clue!

And you know why we didn't have that stuff? Because Bush and Wolfowitz really thought the Iraqis would thank us for invading them. There were no plans for counterinsurgency warfare because nobody was even allowed to mention the possibility that the Iraqis might not welcome us with open arms.

You hear a noise like geese honking? That's the French laughing at us! The Iraqis are beating us in the field and the French are smirking at us, can anybody come up with a worse-case scenario than that? Bush and Wolfowitz should be hanged for treason!

I tried arguing all this stuff with people. All the Christian assholes just nod their little heads and smile and walkaway, with that "I'll be praying for you, ArmChair General" smile I hate more than anything in the world.

Its me and Richard Clarke, living with 300 million morons.

 

I'm starting to think that everything he has posted on this board is a joke.