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Why & What if jokes...

Discussion in 'Political Humor' started by top gun, Jul 25, 2009.

  1. top gun

    top gun New Member

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    Why do men want to marry virgins?
    They can't stand criticism

    Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
    Breasts don't have eyes

    Why is air a lot like sex?
    It's no big deal unless you're not getting any

    What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
    Doughnuts

    What's the difference between a Northern fairy tale and a Southern fairy tale?
    A Northern fairy tale begins, "Once upon a time..."
    A Southern fairytale begins, "Y'all ain't gonna believe this ****..."

    What is a Yankee?
    The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone

    What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
    Juan on Juan

    What's the biggest crime committed by transvestites?
    Male fraud

    Light travels faster than sound
    This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

    How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?
    One of his fingers is clean

    What's the new and politically correct name for Lesbian?
    Vagitarian

    What do you call a lesbian Eskimo?
    Klondike

    What do you call a pimp who doesn't like blow jobs?
    A headless whoresman

    What do you call kids born in whorehouses?
    Brothel sprouts

    Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided?
    Both crews were marooned

    Did you hear about the new "Divorce Barbie"?
    It comes with all of Ken's stuff

    Why did Santa's little helper feel depressed?
    He had low elf esteem

    Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Montgomery, Alabama burned down?
    Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park.

    Why does O. J. Simpson want to move to Alabama?
    Everyone has the same DNA

    AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE FOR ALL MY FRIENDS HERE IN THE H.O.P.

    What is the one thing that unites all Americans, regardless of gender, religion, economic status, ethnic background or political affiliation?
    Deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers
     
  2. Pandora

    Pandora Well-Known Member

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    Those were funny, I would have been afraid to tell a few of them though.

    My two favorites were ....

    Did you hear about the new "Divorce Barbie"?
    It comes with all of Ken's stuff


    Why does O. J. Simpson want to move to Alabama?
    Everyone has the same DNA


    I must be unlike everyone at the HOP because I know I am a terrible driver. I will never admit to how many mail boxes I have taken out. My last "fender bender" was trying to drive my motor home out of my drive way. I clipped my fence and broke off the cable tv thing and it wont glue back on :)

    Next time Ill let someone else drive the beast!!
     
  3. top gun

    top gun New Member

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    Yeh I'm thinking if you're not the best driver ya might want to let someone else drive the motor home!:)

    I had a lot of favs in this batch...

    Why do men want to marry virgins?
    They can't stand criticism

    What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
    Juan on Juan

    What's the biggest crime committed by transvestites?
    Male fraud

    Light travels faster than sound
    This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

    Did you hear about the new "Divorce Barbie"?
    It comes with all of Ken's stuff

    and of course...

    What is the one thing that unites all Americans, regardless of gender, religion, economic status, ethnic background or political affiliation?
    Deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers

    Glad you enjoyed them Pan.
     
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