Riddle for the day

[Pandora]

Hillary, Biden and Obama were on a donkey, at the edge
of a cliff. The donkey got spooked and jumped off the cliff.



Who was saved?

























AMERICA


Wait!

Pelosi needs to be on the donkey too for this riddle to work...

 

[top gun]

Ah Pan political humor is a great thing is it not? Let me try...


Right before President Obama was elected George Bush, Dick Cheney and Laura Bush were all on Air Force One.

Looking out the window George said... Ya know I could throw 10 $100 bills out this window and make 10 people very happy.

To which Laura replied... Well George I could throw 100 $10 bills out this window and make 100 people happy.

To which Cheney replied... Mr. President if we have to go down this road I could just throw 1000 $1 bills out this window and maybe make 1000 people happy.



At which time the Captain of Air Force One came on the loud speaker and said...






You idiots those windows don't open. But I could come back there and throw all of ya out the door and make like 350,000,000 people happy!

 

[Pandora]

Ah Pan political humor is a great thing is it not? Let me try...


Right before President Obama was elected George Bush, Dick Cheney and Laura Bush were all on Air Force One.

Looking out the window George said... Ya know I could throw 10 $100 bills out this window and make 10 people very happy.

To which Laura replied... Well George I could throw 100 $10 bills out this window and make 100 people happy.

To which Cheney replied... Mr. President if we have to go down this road I could just throw 1000 $1 bills out this window and maybe make 1000 people happy.



At which time the Captain of Air Force One came on the loud speaker and said...






You idiots those windows don't open. But I could come back there and throw all of ya out the door and make like 350,000,000 people happy!

I have heard that one before, its very funny.

What do you have against First Lady Laura Bush? I thought she was nice, probably my favorite first lady. She did not get involved and just did her reading program.

 

[pocketfullofshells]

I have heard that one before, its very funny.

What do you have against First Lady Laura Bush? I thought she was nice, probably my favorite first lady. She did not get involved and just did her reading program.

She killed her ex bofreind. also with a car

ok I really just used that because of the Kennedy thing....but still true I believe.

I have nothing against her, outside choice of who she married

 

[top gun]

I have heard that one before, its very funny.

What do you have against First Lady Laura Bush? I thought she was nice, probably my favorite first lady. She did not get involved and just did her reading program.

Laura just happend to be on the plane... don't read anything into it!

Ok here's one without Laura...

Four fathers were fishing and bragging about their sons.

The first father said... MY SON'S doing so well as a Ferrari salesman that he can let people test drive Ferraris home and they can keep them as long as they like.

The second father said... Well MY SON'S the best real estate agent in South Florida and he makes so much money he GAVE a friend a Condo.

The third father said... Big deal MY SON'S one of the richest stock brokers in the America and he has so much extra money laying around he gives away stocks all the time.

All three of the fathers looked at the remaining father and said... Well what's your son do?

The fourth father just looked down all embarrassed and said... Well I didn't want to say anything. It's kinda embarrassing. But my son's a gay male stripper.

But somehow he does manage to drive a nice Ferrari, live in a beautiful new condo and have a hell of a lot of stock.

 

[Pandora]

Laura just happend to be on the plane... don't read anything into it!

Ok here's one without Laura...

Four fathers were fishing and bragging about their sons.

The first father said... MY SON'S doing so well as a Ferrari salesman that he can let people test drive Ferraris home and they can keep them as long as they like.

The second father said... Well MY SON'S the best real estate agent in South Florida and he makes so much money he GAVE a friend a Condo.

The third father said... Big deal MY SON'S one of the richest stock brokers in the America and he has so much extra money laying around he gives away stocks all the time.

All three of the fathers looked at the remaining father and said... Well what's your son do?

The fourth father just looked down all embarrassed and said... Well I didn't want to say anything. It's kinda embarrassing. But my son's a male stripper.

But somehow he does manage to drive a nice Ferrari, live in a beautiful new condo and have a hell of a lot of stock.

Oh I like that one, its good.

 

[Pandora]

She killed her ex bofreind. also with a car

ok I really just used that because of the Kennedy thing....but still true I believe.

I have nothing against her, outside choice of who she married

OH that first line got me, I was ready to rant off a Kennedy memory lane post, but then I read the rest

I am glad you do not have anything against her, I think she is a nice lady. First ladies who get all political bug me. I never liked Hillary as a first lady, I dont like michelle as a first lady either. Kennedy's wife bugged me but for different reasons. She was way before my time so all I have to go by are stories and clips.

 

[PLC1]

Washington DC has a problem with alligators in the sewers. It's not something that many people talk about, but here's a story about two of them:

Al E. was sleek and fat, but A. Gator was skinny and weak. One day, A. Gator asked Al E. what was wrong. "I kill and eat just as many politicians as you do," he complained. "Yet, I'm skinny and you're sleek. Why is that?"

"Let me see your technique," responded Al E.

So, A. Gator crawled out of the sewer. When a politician happened along, he roared his mightiest roar, knocked him down with his tail, and ate him.

"Aha! I see your problem," said Al E.

"When you let out that roar, you scared the s**** out of him. When you knocked him down, you knocked the wind out of him. If you take all of the s*** and all of the wind out of a politician, you have nothing left."

 

[Pandora]

Washington DC has a problem with alligators in the sewers. It's not something that many people talk about, but here's a story about two of them:

Al E. was sleek and fat, but A. Gator was skinny and weak. One day, A. Gator asked Al E. what was wrong. "I kill and eat just as many politicians as you do," he complained. "Yet, I'm skinny and you're sleek. Why is that?"

"Let me see your technique," responded Al E.

So, A. Gator crawled out of the sewer. When a politician happened along, he roared his mightiest roar, knocked him down with his tail, and ate him.

"Aha! I see your problem," said Al E.

"When you let out that roar, you scared the s**** out of him. When you knocked him down, you knocked the wind out of him. If you take all of the s*** and all of the wind out of a politician, you have nothing left."

Oh that was good

I like it also because its not left or right, they all suck!

 

[PLC1]

Oh that was good

I like it also because its not left or right, they all suck!

Yes, and they're all full of *** and air, too.

Here's another one:

A Rabbi, a Hindu Holy man, and a Congressman are traveling together. It's late, and they're all tired. They see a bed and breakfast, and go to the door.

"We have only two beds left, but one of you can sleep in the barn."

"Fine," says the rabbi, "I'll sleep in the barn."

Pretty soon, there's a knock on the door. It's the Rabbi.

"There is a pig in the barn. The pig is an unclean animal. I cannot sleep in the barn."

"Fine", says the Hindu holy man. "I'll sleep in the barn."

Pretty soon, there's another knock at the door. It's the holy man.

"There is a cow in the barn. The cow is sacred. It would be a sacrilege for me to sleep in the barn."

"Fine," says the Congressman. "I'll sleep in the barn."

Pretty soon, there's another knock at the door.

This time, it's the cow and the pig.

 

[Pandora]

Yes, and they're all full of *** and air, too.

Here's another one:

A Rabbi, a Hindu Holy man, and a Congressman are traveling together. It's late, and they're all tired. They see a bed and breakfast, and go to the door.

"We have only two beds left, but one of you can sleep in the barn."

"Fine," says the rabbi, "I'll sleep in the barn."

Pretty soon, there's a knock on the door. It's the Rabbi.

"There is a pig in the barn. The pig is an unclean animal. I cannot sleep in the barn."

"Fine", says the Hindu holy man. "I'll sleep in the barn."

Pretty soon, there's another knock at the door. It's the holy man.

"There is a cow in the barn. The cow is sacred. It would be a sacrilege for me to sleep in the barn."

"Fine," says the Congressman. "I'll sleep in the barn."

Pretty soon, there's another knock at the door.

This time, it's the cow and the pig.

OH thats good! Are these ones you have known or are you getting them off the internet?

I like the cartoons you sometimes post too. I put a few of them in my obama Memories folder

 

[PLC1]

OH thats good! Are these ones you have known or are you getting them off the internet?

I like the cartoons you sometimes post too. I put a few of them in my obama Memories folder

They're both oldies but goodies. The second one started out life as a lawyer joke, but it's adaptable.

 

[PLC1]

Here's a picture to caption:

 

[Pandora]

Here's a picture to caption:

That was funny, I remembered today that during the election Popeye posted a picture of what looked like McCain looking down Sarah Palin's shirt.

But when you saw the whole picture he was reading what was right below her. It was probably a little of both, just like this one.

The girl in this picture is 16 but how the heck could anyone guess that. What is funnier is in the video the French President backs up and leans over and tries to get a second look at her butt! That was funny too!

 

[top gun]

Here' a good one! It's great when you tell it out loud with a lot of emphasis on the last line...

There was this guy and he saw an ad in the paper which read: Talking dog for sale $20 and a phone number.

The guy immediately called and ask if the man answering if he had a talking dog for sale to which the man very calmly said... yeh. The guy looking to buy asked if he could come right over to which the man once again very calmly said... yeh sure why not.

The buyer rushed over and knocked frantically on the sellers front door. When the seller answered the buyer said... Are you the one with the talking dog! Can I see him! To which the man calmly said... sure he's back in the bedroom watching TV.

The buyer rushed to the bedroom and low & behold there was the dog laying on the bed watching TV. The buyer looked at the dog for a minute and then finally said... Ah, are you a talking dog?

The dog looked up and said... Well yes, yes I am a talking dog.

The buyer amazed at what he just heard asked... Can I asked you why you're just laying here on the bed watching TV?

The dog looked up again and said... Well I went to NY after 9-11 and helped save a bunch of people over there, and then there was hurricane Katrina so I went down there and helped out a lot, after all that I was kinda tired so I just came back here and watched TV.

The buyer was beside himself with disbelief and joy ran out of the bedroom and up to the seller and said... I can't believe it! You really do have a talking dog I'll take him! But how come you're only asking $20 for him?

To which the seller said...


BECAUSE HE'S A BIG LIAR!!!!!