If a conservatives child is killed by a drive by shooting, he says it was god's plan
If a liberals child is killed by a drive by shooting, he asks what legislation he can support so that the unnecessary death of children and family can be reduced without completely infringing on his fellow American's 2nd amendment rights.
If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn`t eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat
If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how he can maximize the profits of the defense industry by invading other countries before he has finished the job or caught the terrorists responsible for the attacks.
A liberal wonders how to integrate the international community into a unified force against a common enemy for common security interests.
If a conservative is homosexual, he's an oxymoron
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands equal rights.
If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks it's the Democrats fault, even though his party had complete control.
A liberal wonders how Republicans were able to **** this country up so badly in 8 years.
If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, it's because his liberal cousin changed the channel on him, so he just switches back to the one and only station he listens to.
Liberals listen to diverse points of view, and in turn want diverse points of view broadcasted on PUBLIC air waves.
If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants separation of church and state respected in public schools
If a conservative decides he needs health care, he believes its a privelage.
A Liberal believes Health Care should be a fundamental right.
If a Liberal slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs and is embarrassed.
If a Conservative slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans like he's in labor and then sues.
