Where to begin? When did you begin developing your sexuality? I believe we are born with predisposed tendencies but, the formation of our beliefs and how we will act on them starts at birth and continues through to the day we die.
For example, someone may be born gay but, the way he feels about his sexuality and his view on others' sexuality as well as how he will act upon his feelings is shaped by what he learns and by his personality.
What was going on in your life when you were developing your sexuality? While I believe that we begin this in infancy, clearly, adolescence has probably the biggest effect. When you think about how you were expressing or repressing your sexuality at that time, does it have a correlation to your sexuality now? If are a heterosexual female and had access to hardcore lesbian pornography so, that is what you masturbated to doesn't that make you attracted to lesbian pornography as an adult although you may not desire to act upon it? It would not change your sexual orientation but, it may definately effect your sexual acts. I use this as an example because I know several heterosexual women who experienced this. One of them had sex with a woman once and found it very offputting and said it "just felt wrong". But, she loves her lesbian porn! Thnik of how much porn is directed at males compared to females. Doesn't that just feed into the patriarchal society in which we live? Doesn't that shape how men and women may differ sexually? I focus on pornography because of the general differences between male and female stimlation. Men are stimulated mainly visually. Women usually by emotions but, if visual stimulation is what they have available and they lack emotional stimulation, then they are going to shape their sexuality around visual stimulation but it will be in conflict with their inborn desires.
A man's sexuality is developed by pornography, it being more acceptable for men to have sex at an earlier age and more frequently, and society's push to keep men from expressing themselves emotionally unless it is with aggression. In opposition, we have the woman who, while developing her sexuality has to either accept what is directed toward men or she is repressed because she is probably not getting her emotional stinulation. She is also expected to be the weaker sex and she is expected to express her emotions without aggression. Lets add to that the damage that has already been done to society, the rampant sexual abuse of our children which effects girls far more often than boys and the fact that society is not as sympathetic to boys who are abused.That makes for very different sexual perceptions and behaviors.
Finally, our society has been changing so much over the years, blending the ideas of gender expectations. There is still a difference but, more and more men and women have more similar experiences. Women and men's sexuality is much more compatible now than 100 years ago but, there are still differences caused by our environment's effect on our inborn tendencies.
