I would agree with all of that (I wouldn't expect otherwise, since you're the one with the psych experience!) I think it sums up most of the fundamental understanding we have of sexual behavior with regard to orientation, and I was hoping to be able to elicit some more detail:
Men are stimulated mainly visually. Women usually by emotions
I find this a particularly convenient generalisation- and would think it actually related somewhat to neurobiological differences between the sexes (chromosomally and hormonally derived). The main difficulty seems to be navigating the definitions and their parameters even within the description of sex (as opposed to gender): We say that there is a difference between the male and female sexes but of course there are many many things to consider as it is a complex process with many steps and many factors that inevitably lead to a broad variety of combinations in each person. Thus when we describe "male" and "female" attributes, what we really mean (if the scientific model is accurate) is "attributes more associated with XY/XX people."
The funny part is that so many people are quite sensitive to the topic and so my classmates go around assuming that other people do not have anywhere near an adequate understanding of the relationship between sex and gender, that this in itself made initial discussion very difficult!
Anyway, back to the example at hand, I would say yes this would be not so much the actual driving force of the sexual response but it'd be what mediates it. A psychological medicine model would claim that the main sexual response is driven by fantasy- or rather, what goes on in the mind. That's why porn is such a big topic to look at- because not only is it highly prevalent and accessed by a large portion of the population, but it's also varied and people don't really derive pleasure from the porn itself so much as what it translates to mentally in each individual.
I don't suppose that one can really go much further, though, as it is such a complex issue and would really just require us to take it apart and look at each context. As cultural phenomenons go, all I can really say...is that since it is a dynamic process shaped and experienced by passing generations, I'd hope that somehow we'll continue to not only look towards the actuality of our natures, but also spread the awareness of such, so that we might be able to be more honest with ourselves.
