Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes
Why is air a lot like sex?
It's no big deal unless you're not getting any
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts
What's the difference between a Northern fairy tale and a Southern fairy tale?
A Northern fairy tale begins, "Once upon a time..."
A Southern fairytale begins, "Y'all ain't gonna believe this ****..."
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
What's the biggest crime committed by transvestites?
Male fraud
Light travels faster than sound
This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?
One of his fingers is clean
What's the new and politically correct name for Lesbian?
Vagitarian
What do you call a lesbian Eskimo?
Klondike
What do you call a pimp who doesn't like blow jobs?
A headless whoresman
What do you call kids born in whorehouses?
Brothel sprouts
Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided?
Both crews were marooned
Did you hear about the new "Divorce Barbie"?
It comes with all of Ken's stuff
Why did Santa's little helper feel depressed?
He had low elf esteem
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Montgomery, Alabama burned down?
Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park.
Why does O. J. Simpson want to move to Alabama?
Everyone has the same DNA
AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE FOR ALL MY FRIENDS HERE IN THE H.O.P.
What is the one thing that unites all Americans, regardless of gender, religion, economic status, ethnic background or political affiliation?
Deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers
