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Political Satire: The Old Man of the Mountain (2)

Discussion in 'Political Humor' started by reedak, May 27, 2017.

  1. reedak

    reedak Well-Known Member

    May 1, 2014
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    Narrator: The priest had been walking many miles without seeing a single human being. By nightfall, he spotted lights from two houses in the distance. After walking about 15 minutes, he reached the two houses which were surrounded by fences. The houses were situated side by side with a fence between them. The gate of one house was locked but the gate of the other was wide opened. While walking though the gate, a fat dog from the other house kept barking at him. It stared fiercely at him with its fiery eyes as it pounced on the fence between them. When the priest reached the house, he found a middle-aged man standing at an open door.

    Middle-aged man: Get lost, trespasser!

    Priest: You should have locked your gate to keep out unwelcome guests.

    Middle-aged man: With a ferocious beast right next door alerting me and barking fiercely at anybody in the vicinity, do I need to lock my gate?

    Priest: But why does your neighbour lock his gate?

    Middle-aged man: If not, his dog would rush out to bite anyone passing by.

    Priest: I am a traveller from a faraway land seeking a night's lodging here.

    Middle-aged man: I have a spare room for a weary traveller like you, but I don't think you can get a good night's sleep in my house.

    Priest: Why? I am willing to pay you handsomely for my lodging.

    Middle-aged man: Money is not the problem. Didn't you see the problem when you walked through the gate?

    Priest: The fierce barking dog.

    Middle-aged man: Yes, that beast shatters the peace of this area day and night, barking at all passers-by.

    Priest: How long have you stayed in this house?

    Middle-aged man: I bought this house about a year ago.

    Priest: Didn't you know the existence of the fierce dog before you purchased the house?

    Middle-aged man: At that time, my neighbour was on holiday with his family and the dog. My real estate agent mentioned nothing about the dog.

    Priest: I am sure taking a lodging here is better than sleeping on the tree at night.

    Middle-aged man: Since you don't mind the deafening noise at night, I shall get my servant to lead you to a spare room. Now the dog is barking again. At first I thought you were my foolish neighbour when the dog barked just now. Now I am very sure he is walking towards my house.

    Priest: Are you sure that the newcomer is your neighbour? How can a dog bark at its own master?

    Middle-aged man: You would be surprised to learn that the dog has full control over his master.

    Narrator: The middle-aged man walked towards the door, with the priest behind him. They saw a tall, elderly man walking towards them. Sure enough, it was his neighbour. The newcomer was led to the living room. The priest wanted to go to another room, but his host asked him to stay as an observer at the meeting. The three men took their seats at a round table.

    Neighbour: Who is this gentleman?

    Middle-aged man: He is just a weary traveller taking lodging in my house.

    Neighbour: His presence may interfere with our meeting.

    Middle-age man: Don't worry. There is nothing secret with our meeting. As long as he remains silent, he would be an "invisible" observer in the meeting.

    Neighbour: Okay, let's begin our meeting. All this while, you have been asking me to use an electronic collar that reprimands my dog for barking through physical pain. Whenever I try to put a collar round its neck, it growls fiercely and even attacks me.

    Middle-age man: Are you going to urge me to hold fresh talks with your dog again? How can you expect the beast to obey the commands of others when it acts in open defiance of its master?

    Neighbour: Since you have lost your "strategic patience" with my dog, I offer a new solution to stop it from barking. I am going to give you a giant war drum which you can place in your garden. Whenever my dog barks, you can start beating the war drum to mask the unwanted sound.

    Narrator: While the priest listened to their conversation, a mosquito flew out of a bottle in his pocket and landed on his arm. After its body swelled and turned red with blood. it flew back to its "home" in the priest's pocket.

    Middle-aged man: Your proposal won't solve the problem. It just replaces an unwanted sound with another. In the end, my ears would be damaged by the thunderous rumbling of the war drum.

    Neighbour: The war drum is my family heirloom which has been passed down from one of my ancestors 2,000 years ago. He was an invincible and triumphant general whose army cast terror into the hearts of enemy troops. Whenever the enemy troops heard the beating of his war drum, they would shiver and flee without fighting.

    Middle-aged man: I doubt the war drum can solve the barking problem, but it would be very impolite of me not to accept your gift.

    Neighbour: My men will bring the war drum over here very soon.

    Narrator: Sure enough, not very long afterwards twenty men were seen dragging an enormous carriage that carried a war drum with a diameter of three metres. The juggernaut was placed beside the fence of the garden. As usual, the dog kept barking in defiance of its master. At this point, the house owner wanted to test the power of the war drum, but his neighbour warned him that its thunderous rumbling could cause serious ear damage. Although the house owner could not use the war drum against the dog without hurting himself, he was pleased to be the proud owner of a 2,000-year-old antique.

    After the neighbour left the house, the middle-aged man asked his servant to lead the priest to a vacant room. The priest could not sleep at all as the dog barked at any passer-by throughout the night. Next morning the priest continued his journey with tired eyes, literally "sleep walking" all the way....


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