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Why did the chicken cross the road

Discussion in 'Political Humor' started by Pandora, Apr 13, 2008.

  1. Pandora

    Pandora Well-Known Member

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    WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

    GEORGE W. BUSH
    We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want
    to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or
    not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is
    no middle ground here. If the chicken WON'T willingly cross
    the road, we will lead a coalition of the willing to escort it.

    COLIN POWELL
    This is not about whether inspectors made sure the chicken crossed the
    road, it's about the willingness of the chicken to
    cross the road voluntarily.

    AL GORE
    I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken
    crossing the road represented the application of these
    two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed
    to bring greater services to the American
    people.

    BILL CLINTON
    I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken?
    Could you define chicken, please?

    RALPH NADER
    The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted
    by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did
    not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it
    was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

    PAT BUCHANAN
    To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

    RUSH LIMBAUGH
    I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was
    getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet
    someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens
    with crossing-the-road syndrome. How much more
    of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by
    their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm
    talking about your money, money the government took from you to build
    roads for chickens to cross.

    MARTHA STEWART
    No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
    standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs
    when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any
    insider information.

    JERRY FALWELL
    Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the
    plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was
    going to the "other side." That's what they call it -- the other side.
    Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that
    chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we
    sort out this abomination that the liberal media
    whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."

    DR. SEUSS
    Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes,
    The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!


    ERNEST HEMINGWAY
    To die. In the rain. Alone.

    MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
    I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
    without having their motives called into question.

    KEVIN WIRTH
    The chicken crossed the road to prove to the possum it was possable.

    GRANDPA
    In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told
    us that the chicken crossed the road, and that
    was good enough for us.

    BARBARA WALTERS
    Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the
    chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of
    how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish
    its life-long dream of crossing the road.

    JOHN LENNON
    Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

    ARISTOTLE
    It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

    KARL MARX
    It was a historical inevitability.

    SADDAM HUSSEIN
    This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
    dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

    RONALD REAGAN
    What chicken?

    CAPTAIN KIRK
    To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

    FOX MULDER
    You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens
    have to cross before you believe it?

    SIGMUND FREUD
    The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
    reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

    BILL GATES
    I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but
    will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
    balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part
    of eChicken.

    ALBERT EINSTEIN
    Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
    chicken?

    JOHNNY COCHRAN
    Because the road was black and the chicken was white. We must acquit.

    THE BIBLE
    And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou
    shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed
    the road, and there was much rejoicing.

    COLONEL SANDERS
    I missed one?


    This is kinda old but I thought this was cute. I wonder what funny sayings could be put behind some of the people currently running?
     
  2. palerider

    palerider Well-Known Member

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    The truth is that the chicken crossed the road to show the armadillos that it could be done.
     
  3. PLC1

    PLC1 Moderator Staff Member

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    why did the evil chicken cross the road?

    For a fowl purpose.

    Why did the liberal chicken cross the road?

    He wanted to make a left turn.

    Why did the dittohead chicken cross the road?

    He heard that only liberals walk on the left side of the road. Good, red blooded, patriotic chickens only walk on the right side. Walking on the left side causes global warming and brain decay.

    Why did the pervert cross the road?

    He was stuck to the chicken.

    Why did Bill Clinton's chicken cross the road?

    That depends on the meaning of the word road, and the word cross.
     
  4. Pandora

    Pandora Well-Known Member

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    oh that is so funny! can you come up with one about Obama. I have tried but I cant think of anything funny.
     
  5. PLC1

    PLC1 Moderator Staff Member

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    I know my pastor said that the chicken crossed the road, but I don't agree with everything he says. He didn't cross the road if he is an elitist chicken, but if he is a small town chicken he crossed the road to seek comfort in religion and guns. If he's a Jewish chicken, then he's my friend, just like Louis Ferrikhan.

    That's the best I can do. Is there anyone else who wants to make up a better one?

    And no, I don't know how to spell Ferrikhan.
     
  6. Pandora

    Pandora Well-Known Member

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    I love it! now that you started it i can see where more can be added in, like i wasnt in church the day my pastor told him to cross the road and i was totally shocked that he had those feelings about the chicken :)

    thank you, that made me smile !!!
     
  7. SeeingRed

    SeeingRed New Member

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    I love the Johnny Cochran response....

    This is soo funny...I must repost..
     
  8. Cassidy

    Cassidy New Member

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    Why did the American chicken cross the road?

    He heard health care was better on the other side.

    You could turn it around and say

    Why did the Canadian chicken cross the road..

    both would work depending on what your view point is.
     
    2 people like this.
  9. top gun

    top gun New Member

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    That is a good one... especially on Clinton. It depends what the meaning of IS, is!:)
     
  10. top gun

    top gun New Member

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    How bout...

    because he just wanted to CHANGE where he was
    ;)
     
  11. Pandora

    Pandora Well-Known Member

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    LOL that is a good one
     
  12. PLC1

    PLC1 Moderator Staff Member

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    While going across, he was hoping not to get run over by a semi. Then he saw some change in the middle of the road. When he stopped to peck at it, his hope didn't come to fruition.

    The coyote didn't care about hope or change, but he had a nice easy chicken meal.
     
  13. Pandora

    Pandora Well-Known Member

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    that was a good one :)

    I like these chicken jokes
     
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