God Bless The TSA

S

Slant Eyed Polack

Well-Known Member
Joined
Apr 3, 2024
Messages
59
Flying commercial can be a pain, there's no denying it. But I've had an epiphany, and it's altered my worldview. I am now compelled to rebuke all the selfish, narcissistic whiny little crybabies who've ever complained about it. You ungrateful malcontents should bow down in reverent obeisance whenever the hallowed name of the Transportation Security Administration is mentioned.

Due to a certain aspect of my ancestry, I use chopsticks as often as a knife and fork & always take a pair with me when I travel. But not on TSA's watch! TSA accepts its solemn obligation to protect all of you from the likes of me. The fearless sentinels at TSA (Propeller Beanies Upon Them) understand how the slant-eyed among us like nothing better than to lurk on airplanes, deviously twirling our mustaches, looking for unwary travelers to skewer, stab & impale.

With our chopsticks.

They confiscated my freaking hashi. To keep me from weaponizing them. Against you, fellow traveler. If you've flown in the US, you owe TSA (PBUT) your very lives. So get on your knees you drooling gaijin, and shout ARIGATO to the heavens. DO IT NOW!
 
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Slant Eyed Polack said:
Flying commercial can be a pain, there's no denying it. But I've had an epiphany, and it's altered my worldview. I am now compelled to rebuke all the selfish, narcissistic whiny little crybabies who've ever complained about it. You ungrateful malcontents should bow down in reverent obeisance whenever the hallowed name of the Transportation Security Administration is mentioned.

Due to a certain aspect of my ancestry, I use chopsticks as often as a knife and fork & always take a pair with me when I travel. But not on TSA's watch! TSA accepts its solemn obligation to protect all of you from the likes of me. The fearless sentinels at TSA (Propeller Beanies Upon Them) understand how the slant-eyed among us like nothing better than to lurk on airplanes, deviously twirling our mustaches, looking for unwary travelers to skewer, stab & impale.

With our chopsticks.

They confiscated my freaking hashi. To keep me from weaponizing them. Against you, fellow traveler. If you've flown in the US, you owe TSA (PBUT) your very lives. So get on your knees you drooling gaijin, and shout ARIGATO to the heavens. DO IT NOW!
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Piss off.
 
Boris Norris said:
Not at all. Tolerating idiots is not my.best developed trait.
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If you're going to trust W's bloated dog & pony show, which boasts failure rates north of 70% whenever DHS tests it by successfully breaching TSA's "security" with simulated weapons, drugs & explosives, all you need do is consult a mirror to boost your tolerance for idiots.
 
Slant Eyed Polack said:
If you're going to trust W's bloated dog & pony show, which boasts failure rates north of 70% whenever DHS tests it by successfully breaching TSA's "security" with simulated weapons, drugs & explosives, all you need do is consult a mirror to boost your tolerance for idiots.
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You've got a very inflated opinion of yourself. Have you been a narcissistic prick long or is it recently contracted?
 
Slant Eyed Polack said:
Flying commercial can be a pain, there's no denying it. But I've had an epiphany, and it's altered my worldview. I am now compelled to rebuke all the selfish, narcissistic whiny little crybabies who've ever complained about it. You ungrateful malcontents should bow down in reverent obeisance whenever the hallowed name of the Transportation Security Administration is mentioned.

Due to a certain aspect of my ancestry, I use chopsticks as often as a knife and fork & always take a pair with me when I travel. But not on TSA's watch! TSA accepts its solemn obligation to protect all of you from the likes of me. The fearless sentinels at TSA (Propeller Beanies Upon Them) understand how the slant-eyed among us like nothing better than to lurk on airplanes, deviously twirling our mustaches, looking for unwary travelers to skewer, stab & impale.

With our chopsticks.

They confiscated my freaking hashi. To keep me from weaponizing them. Against you, fellow traveler. If you've flown in the US, you owe TSA (PBUT) your very lives. So get on your knees you drooling gaijin, and shout ARIGATO to the heavens. DO IT NOW!
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If you don't like it, go back to china and resume cooking dogs alive you slant eyed bastard
 
Boris Norris said:
You've got a very inflated opinion of yourself. Have you been a narcissistic prick long or is it recently contracted?
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If pilots only landed planes safely 30% of the time, nobody would fly. DHS routinely exposes a similar "success" rate for TSA whenever they test the system. You have a Jehovah's Witness level of faith in Big Bro, and it's... adorable.

The most serious vulnerability exposed by 9/11 has been solved: locked cockpit doors are all but impossible to breach. The rest of it is smoke and mirrors, and it's proven to be too complex a set of variables for TSA to manage. It's long past time to abolish it and give the private sector a crack at it.
 
Slant Eyed Polack said:
If pilots only landed planes safely 30% of the time, nobody would fly. DHS routinely exposes a similar "success" rate for TSA whenever they test the system. You have a Jehovah's Witness level of faith in Big Bro, and it's... adorable.

The most serious vulnerability exposed by 9/11 has been solved: locked cockpit doors are all but impossible to breach. The rest of it is smoke and mirrors, and it's proven to be too complex a set of variables for TSA to manage. It's long past time to abolish it and give the private sector a crack at it.
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The private sector? What exactly are you thinking ? You mean like pre 911 days... which resulted in 911.

I am not a huge fan of tsa, but do you want to privatize local security in general, ie the police? National security, ie the military?
 
pjmret said:
The private sector? What exactly are you thinking ? You mean like pre 911 days... which resulted in 911...
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Pre 9/11 Big Bro was in charge of airline security, just as they are now more than 20 years later. Blaming 9/11 on the private sector is more than a little disingenuous. Evidently you regard a 70% failure rate - in the here and now - as 'nothing to see here.' We'll have to agree to disagree.

Even though Big Bro was calling the shots on 9/11, I really can't blame the government. Before 9/11, no one expected that hijackers would be suicidal. Now we know better, and like-minded douchebags will never get into another cockpit - for which I'm happy to give Big Bro the credit.

San Fransisco International is one of 20+ major airports nationwide to have privatized its security. They were the only airports to operate normally during covid as a result. TSA is nowhere to be found, and there's not been a single incident at any of those facilities. And they're not spending billions of your dollars to fail 70% of the time. We know privatizing can work, because it does.
 
Slant Eyed Polack said:
Pre 9/11 Big Bro was in charge of airline security, just as they are now more than 20 years later. Blaming 9/11 on the private sector is more than a little disingenuous. Evidently you regard a 70% failure rate - in the here and now - as 'nothing to see here.' We'll have to agree to disagree.

Even though Big Bro was calling the shots on 9/11, I really can't blame the government. Before 9/11, no one expected that hijackers would be suicidal. Now we know better, and like-minded douchebags will never get into another cockpit - for which I'm happy to give Big Bro the credit.

San Fransisco International is one of 20+ major airports nationwide to have privatized its security. They were the only airports to operate normally during covid as a result. TSA is nowhere to be found, and there's not been a single incident at any of those facilities. And they're not spending billions of your dollars to fail 70% of the time. We know privatizing can work, because it does.
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Well, again, as I said I am not a huge fan of tsa, so no, I don't support a 70 percent failure rate.

I think anything that is an improvement over tsa is great. But one example falls short of proving a general principle, so we shall see. I hope it works out
 
pjmret said:
Well, again, as I said I am not a huge fan of tsa, so no, I don't support a 70 percent failure rate.

I think anything that is an improvement over tsa is great. But one example falls short of proving a general principle, so we shall see. I hope it works out
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Picking nits: it's more than 20 examples. 22 last I heard 2 or 3 years ago. It may be more now.
 
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Slant Eyed Polack said:
If pilots only landed planes safely 30% of the time, nobody would fly. DHS routinely exposes a similar "success" rate for TSA whenever they test the system. You have a Jehovah's Witness level of faith in Big Bro, and it's... adorable.

The most serious vulnerability exposed by 9/11 has been solved: locked cockpit doors are all but impossible to breach. The rest of it is smoke and mirrors, and it's proven to be too complex a set of variables for TSA to manage. It's long past time to abolish it and give the private sector a crack at it.
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Piss off nutter. You're Ranting about something complete dead and buried.

You've probably got some ratbag conspiracy about it also.
 
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