I have lived in two Islamic country for a total of 16 years. I am frequently amazed how uninformed most American's are of other people's culture. In many country most of the people are more attached to their religion than any sort of loyalty (or patriotism) to their country. Their lives revolve around their religion, and a dictator form of government is all they have ever known or wanted.
Don't forget, a dictator is a very efficient way to run a government. No gridlock, no squabbling about social policy. The dictator lays down the rules and the army acts as police and judge to maintain law and order in the country. Rebels who oppose the dictator regime are dealt with harshly. But, in general, the people live a contented life. No bureaucrats and a lot fewer petty rules, such as getting auto insurance, for example.
In general, the two Islamic sects: Sunni and Shites got along because they lived in different areas, and its always been that way for thousands of years. Each sect respected the traditions of the other and generally settled into a cooperative relationship.
Furthermore, they don't think about social issues... their religion lays down the rules of behavior regarding things like abortion, charity, etc. Most people live close to their family, and extended family, so grandmother is always available to help take care of a sick child. Conversely, farmers, fishermen, carpenters, healers work share the workload without extensive squabbling about pay.
Now imagine the American culture, including democracy, being suddenly forced upon them. Since the army is also the police, bombs are dropped in neighborhood areas, and basically this new system brings nothing but death and destruction. People know nothing about politics and voting is a strange process - most people can't understand the ballot. Candidates can buy votes by handing out tee shirts.
America simply introduced chaos into the daily lives of the average citizen who had no idea what was happening. You can see why the death of a family member was so hard on the entire community. The idea of a veteran who died trying to protect their country was an incomprehensible concept.
Once the violence was initiated by the first Gulf War, then it was inevitable that the point of conflict would be between religions groups. As I said, people were (and are) more loyal to religion than country. Once religious conflicts broke out, then there was no putting Humpty Dumpty back together again.
And thus, we see the prospect of continued conflict for years to come.... and the citizens of Iraq will always hate the US for bringing such chaos into their lives.