Memo to the IRS: Keep Up the "Good Work"


Well-Known Member
Apr 7, 2007
Memo to the IRS: Keep Up the "Good Work"

By Logan Feys


TO: IRS Customer Service Representatives
FROM: IRS Customer #876412909
DATE: November 23, 2002
CC: IRS Taxpayer Advocates
RE: Keep Up the Good Work

I would like to thank you all for all that you take from me.

Not all IRS Customers share my esteem for our progressive income tax. Some of my fellow citizens are mired in the past -- back when government denied us the right to be forced to pay hefty taxes on our incomes. There are still some Americans who say they have a natural right to keep the fruits of their labor. You may think I’m exaggerating. I’m not! I have met people who actually believe that what they earn is rightfully theirs, not yours. Their quaint notions of individual liberty are preventing the IRS from doing even more for society. I envision an IRS that takes Customer Service to new heights by offering the highest rates of taxation in the world.

Do you realize how important your job is? Income taxes combat what is surely the #1 problem facing humankind today: the rich. Why are there so many rich individuals? Why are there so many ordinary people who think they can become rich? Because the government hasn’t yet made being wealthy a crime. But the IRS does have the power to make getting rich impossible. All it has to do is tax the rich at a higher rate -- say, 100%. Some may regard this as an extreme measure, but it’s perfectly logical. It follows from the principle that the more private wealth government destroys, the better off society will be. This, of course, is the principle advocated by society’s fountainheads of achievement: labor union organizers, philosophy professors, and politicians.

Since these experts agree that the rich harm society, society’s top priority should be the eradication of wealth. I’ll admit that I haven’t heard this argument stated explicitly by our fountainheads of achievement. But I’m sure they’d agree with me in principle. After all, the condition of being “rich” is relative. If it’s wrong to be a millionaire in a society where the average salary is $35,000, then it’s wrong to have $35,000 in a society where most people have nothing. In a truly just society, no one would be permitted to rise any higher than anyone else.

I hope you continue to seize more and more and more and more and more money from those who have earned it. We are, to our great dismay, occasionally diverted form the path of continually rising tax rates via an unfair tax cut. However, history has shown that government spending goes up at a fairly constant rate. Hence, tax reductions are always temporary. We will reach the destination of full social justice -- the complete liberation of society from wealth. It’s only a matter of time.

We will render the pursuit of personal wealth futile. Entrepreneurs will no longer try to exploit people by selling them things that they want to buy. No one will have any incentive to produce anything, and no one will have any resources with which to buy anything. All economic decisions will be in the hands of the same politicians who now so wisely spend the money you undistribute from me and my countrymen.

In the battle for a just society, you are the heroic soldiers on the front lines. You understand that there’s more to this war than just collecting payments from IRS Customers. That’s why you have made compliance with the tax code just as costly as the tax itself. Think of all the hours Americans spend pouring over books and records and tax forms just to figure out what their obligations to the government are. The way I see it, time spent is money lost. The more, the better.

The enormity and complexity of the tax code has so dumfounded IRS Customers that many, out of sheer frustration, turn to tax attorneys, tax accountants, and tax consultants. These private-sector IRS workers soak up billions of dollars and produce absolutely nothing. All they do is navigate through the legal labyrinth that you have erected for them. It’s like a game, isn’t it? You guys, with the help of your friends in Congress, deliberately write the rules of the game to be extraordinarily dense, convoluted, and anti-common-sensical. Doing so ensures that our country’s tax professionals are kept busy. In fact, the tax-compliance industry is rapidly growing. It’s important to keep it growing. When intelligence and creativity are diverted away from productive jobs and into make-work jobs, wealth is quietly destroyed. Preventing goods and services from being created is just as effective as wiping out those that already exist. The only difference is that most citizens won’t see that there is no difference.

Rest of memo at:
The purpose is not to impoverish the rich, it is to distribute the wealth of a wealthy nation in an equitable manner, which capitalism cannot and does not do.
The purpose is not to impoverish the rich, it is to distribute the wealth of a wealthy nation in an equitable manner, which capitalism cannot and does not do.
Democrats excuse leftist looting by claiming the poor deserve the rewards they can seize from the rich (or, from those they assume are rich and deserve to be forced to share their wealth with them by looting.)