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You can't just call yourself God. There are a few requisites.

  1. You'll need a garden.
  2. You'll need a couple of kids. Don't worry about the incest, you can let it pass this time.
  3. You're going to have to ignore that little voice in the back of your head that says that you shouldn't be making snakes - or apples.
  4. If you happen see a guy wandering around in the desert, think of him as a publisher - and yourself as a the original self-help author.
  5. You have to channel your pyromania into righteous wrath against large cities with lots of sodomy.


The list goes on, really...just remember one thing. Use contraceptives. You're only going to have one kid and his life, well...it isn't going to be very pleasant. Especially when it ends.


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