Scots Joke

The Scotsman

Well-Known Member
Apr 1, 2008
South of the Haggis Munching Line
Scots guy goes into a brothel in Amsterdam one night and finds himself a really cool looking hooker. He asks her "How much dea'ya charrrge fur an hoor?"
"£100," she replies.
"Aye okay lassie" So he asks "Dea'ya do it Scottish style?"
She looks at him a bit strangley and says "No way!!"
He then asks her "I'll gi ya £200 if ye dea it Scottish style?"
"Look" She says "I'm not doing it Scotiish Style" actually not having the faintest idea what Scottish style is!

So our Scotsman pulls his wallet out, blows the dust off, prises the rustly clasp open and looks inside...and sighs, and then finally says "Look ye'ar a bonnie looking wee lassie so I'll tell yee what... I'll bung yee £500 to go Scottish style wi me!"

Finally she agrees! thinking "Well that the hell, I've been in the game for over 10 years now, I've been there and done that, had every kind of request from weirdo's from every corner of the world. How bad could Scottish style be?"

So she goes ahead and does the deed in every kind of way and in every possible position. Finally, after several intense hours they've exhausted themselves. Tired but happy, the hooker says "That was fantastic. I've never enjoyed work so much. But I was expecting something perverted and disgusting. Where does the 'Scottish style' come in?"

The Scotsman replies... "I'll pay ye next week" :D
That was pretty cute Scot, now if I knew the amount of money in American dollars, I could laugh at the rest of it. :confused:

Are you really in Scotland ?

He wishes.
LOL. For the record, sublime, I wish you were my cousin. :cool:
I have had more interactions with brits and micks and aussies than you would think. Excellent people and very friendly, just a little naive when it comes to the ways of the greatland. Especially when it comes to shooting guns.
My certification has since expired, but at one time I was a safety instructor and rangemaster. In the times I have brought Brits of one sort or another out to shoot, one needed stitches in thier eyebrow from letting the scope hit them, and the other nearly broke thier thumb when shooting an auto pistol by having it behind the slide. This is after I just warned them about those very things happening.

Either of you gentlemen watch hockey?
Either of you gentlemen watch hockey?

Its not exactly NHL.......... but its just around the corner from where I live and its a truck load of fun........

Its not exactly NHL.......... but its just around the corner from where I live and its a truck load of fun........
I know I am biased having grown up playing hockey. But it really is among the best games to watch live. Are most of the players canucks or what?
I know that not to many in the UK play when compared to NA. But I am glad to hear it is raising in popularity.