Source Unknown, but worth sharing! Conservative or Liberal...

[TruthAboveAll]

Comparison of a Conservative and a Liberal/Progressive or whatever they are calling themselves these days:

If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn't buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn`t eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy.
A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberalis homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a black man or Hispanic are conservative, they see themselves as independently successful.
Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host he switches channels or turns it off.
Liberals howl that the government demand "fairness", or have those they don’t like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced. (Unless it’s a foreign religion, of course!)

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides the insurance.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs and is embarrassed.
If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans like he's in labor and then sues.

It's no wonder that the term is used, 'red state' and 'blue state'. Republicans (red) are typically Conservative; Democrats (blue) are typically Liberal. Think of exertion - Conservatives are red from frustration and profound effort to produce results. Liberals are blue, from poor exercise, poor circulation and sitting in the corner holding their breath.

I'll take rosy red cheeks over blue lips any day.

 

[Pandora]

How true that is

 

[TVoffBrainOn]

If a conservatives child is killed by a drive by shooting, he says it was god's plan
If a liberals child is killed by a drive by shooting, he asks what legislation he can support so that the unnecessary death of children and family can be reduced without completely infringing on his fellow American's 2nd amendment rights.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn`t eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat

If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how he can maximize the profits of the defense industry by invading other countries before he has finished the job or caught the terrorists responsible for the attacks.
A liberal wonders how to integrate the international community into a unified force against a common enemy for common security interests.

If a conservative is homosexual, he's an oxymoron
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands equal rights.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks it's the Democrats fault, even though his party had complete control.
A liberal wonders how Republicans were able to **** this country up so badly in 8 years.

If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, it's because his liberal cousin changed the channel on him, so he just switches back to the one and only station he listens to.
Liberals listen to diverse points of view, and in turn want diverse points of view broadcasted on PUBLIC air waves.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants separation of church and state respected in public schools

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he believes its a privelage.
A Liberal believes Health Care should be a fundamental right.

If a Liberal slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs and is embarrassed.
If a Conservative slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans like he's in labor and then sues.

 

[PLC1]

That sounds to me more like a comparison of libertarian vs authoritarian, rather than conservative vs liberal.

Conservatives don't like government, but want that entity to decide when a woman may end a pregnancy. They don't like government, but want that same government to have the right to put someone to death. They don't like government, but want the government to decide who may marry whom.

The above is not fair, either. It is the authoritarian who wants the government to do such things, while the libertarian, the only real conservative, wants the government to stay out of our private lives.

It is the definition of liberal vs conservative that is flawed.