Little-Acorn
Well-Known Member
Funny Quake Tweets...
@pareene: “I think Chris Christie just jumped into the race.”
@robdelaney: “Did anyone I have a crush on’s husband or boyfriend die in the earthquake? DM me.”
@ModeledBehavior: “More and more scientists are questioning whether that was a real quake. It is a theory that’s out there.”
@snowed_in: “Breaking: Carole King feels the earth move under her feet.”
@chashomans: “I guess I better get an intern working on a ‘Five Things You Didn’t Know About the Mayan Serpent God’ listicle.”
@MichaelSLinden: “US Geological Survey’s budget was cut by some $20 million this year. #justsaying”
@daveweigel: “DEVELOPING: Earthquake turns Gallup offices upside down. Obama now at 62% approval”
@jdickerson: “Everyone calm down. If this is an earthquake on the east coast we’re supposed to react ironically.”
@balycooley: “I don’t want to die at a freelance job, for god’s sake.”
@pattonoswalt: “Not to panic anyone in NYC, but a screaming John Cusack just drove by in a limo that was missing a door.”
@samfbiddle: “WAS IT PREMATURE TO DO ALL THAT LOOTING”
@politicoroger: “We wouldn’t be having earthquakes like this if Hillary were president.”
@TomFornelli: “WOLF BLITZER IS ON THE PHONE WITH THE EARTHQUAKE.”
@davidfrum: “DC public schools did not dismiss. The kids are tougher than Politico.”
@RuwaydaMustafah
You know your addicted to Twitter when you tweet “Earthquake OMG” instead of looking for the exit door. #USA
@eorlins
To all those in CA making fun of our reaction to the quake, let’s see you handle rationally 2 feet of snow, then we can talk. #earthquake
@bronk
F!, its only been like a half hour & I’ve already finished my 15 day supply of emergency food #earthquake
@ Katulis
Main impact of DC earthquake seems to be that the happy hour start time moved up about 4 hours for most people.
@dmuth
BREAKING: Philly cops respond to earthquake by shooting the ground!
@adam_fogle
UPDATE: Millions of Americans struggling to make earthquake about them.
@joeveix
For the record, everyone in Brooklyn felt the earthquake before it was cool.
@ChuckWendig
After the earthquake, I threw a chair through my front window and stole my TV. Mistakes were made.
@Real_Housewives
It just so happened, there was an earthquake after it was announced that Will and Jada had ‘separated’. The earth was angry
@TheFakeCNN
Republicans and Democrats already blaming each other for the earthquake.
@TheMissE
Whenever an #Earthquake happens, Twitter transforms into the Weather Channel.
@RennaW
DARN IT!!!! I was this close to finishing my Etch-a-Sketch masterpiece. #earthquake
@truskowski
Earthquake survival tips. 1) update status 2) check in to unlock epic swarm badge 3) text friend and ask if they felt it too.
@mstoreshaw
Pro tip: during an earthquake, stand in a door frame or go under your desk, and bring your phone so you can still make jokes on Twitter.
@jdickerson
Federal officials report that in wake of earthquake all jokes have been exhausted. Joke backup systems dangerously stretched.
@pareene: “I think Chris Christie just jumped into the race.”
@robdelaney: “Did anyone I have a crush on’s husband or boyfriend die in the earthquake? DM me.”
@ModeledBehavior: “More and more scientists are questioning whether that was a real quake. It is a theory that’s out there.”
@snowed_in: “Breaking: Carole King feels the earth move under her feet.”
@chashomans: “I guess I better get an intern working on a ‘Five Things You Didn’t Know About the Mayan Serpent God’ listicle.”
@MichaelSLinden: “US Geological Survey’s budget was cut by some $20 million this year. #justsaying”
@daveweigel: “DEVELOPING: Earthquake turns Gallup offices upside down. Obama now at 62% approval”
@jdickerson: “Everyone calm down. If this is an earthquake on the east coast we’re supposed to react ironically.”
@balycooley: “I don’t want to die at a freelance job, for god’s sake.”
@pattonoswalt: “Not to panic anyone in NYC, but a screaming John Cusack just drove by in a limo that was missing a door.”
@samfbiddle: “WAS IT PREMATURE TO DO ALL THAT LOOTING”
@politicoroger: “We wouldn’t be having earthquakes like this if Hillary were president.”
@TomFornelli: “WOLF BLITZER IS ON THE PHONE WITH THE EARTHQUAKE.”
@davidfrum: “DC public schools did not dismiss. The kids are tougher than Politico.”
@RuwaydaMustafah
You know your addicted to Twitter when you tweet “Earthquake OMG” instead of looking for the exit door. #USA
@eorlins
To all those in CA making fun of our reaction to the quake, let’s see you handle rationally 2 feet of snow, then we can talk. #earthquake
@bronk
F!, its only been like a half hour & I’ve already finished my 15 day supply of emergency food #earthquake
@ Katulis
Main impact of DC earthquake seems to be that the happy hour start time moved up about 4 hours for most people.
@dmuth
BREAKING: Philly cops respond to earthquake by shooting the ground!
@adam_fogle
UPDATE: Millions of Americans struggling to make earthquake about them.
@joeveix
For the record, everyone in Brooklyn felt the earthquake before it was cool.
@ChuckWendig
After the earthquake, I threw a chair through my front window and stole my TV. Mistakes were made.
@Real_Housewives
It just so happened, there was an earthquake after it was announced that Will and Jada had ‘separated’. The earth was angry
@TheFakeCNN
Republicans and Democrats already blaming each other for the earthquake.
@TheMissE
Whenever an #Earthquake happens, Twitter transforms into the Weather Channel.
@RennaW
DARN IT!!!! I was this close to finishing my Etch-a-Sketch masterpiece. #earthquake
@truskowski
Earthquake survival tips. 1) update status 2) check in to unlock epic swarm badge 3) text friend and ask if they felt it too.
@mstoreshaw
Pro tip: during an earthquake, stand in a door frame or go under your desk, and bring your phone so you can still make jokes on Twitter.
@jdickerson
Federal officials report that in wake of earthquake all jokes have been exhausted. Joke backup systems dangerously stretched.
