May 10th - Be kind to Armchair general

While I realize many men have a penchant for naming portions of their anatomy, in this case - I'm referring to your entirety. Gargantuan you may be, but in a Zen sort of're puny.

ya know Cayote, I've survived some terrible summers, but this is the worst. Somebody kill me.The desert's been putting on a show, crunching a whole lifetime of stupid misery into a few hot days. And I mean hot. We've been setting records down here. Today it hit 107 degrees. Tomorrow we're due to reach 109. Luckily, Friday should be a cool, breezy 103.

I had figured this summer would be a little easier to handle now that I've shucked off a layer of blubber (I slimmed down a bit to try to ease my kidney situation..(wink wink :cool: )). But no, God just made it a few degrees hotter to make sure I stay as sweaty and miserable as ever, cooking in my own fat.
All right...I swore I wasn't going to be nice to you ever again after your sweaty carcass collapsed my outhouse into a sinkhole.

Here, you can have my solar powered fan's cool up here in the mountains anyway....