The Scotsman
Well-Known Member
Press Release
Washington.
1st March 2017
In a joint press gaggle yesterday Whitehouse press spokesman Mr. Sean Spicer and National Rifle Association (NRA) spokesgal Nada C. Holes started to flesh out some details for the proposed US-Mexican Border wall. Following President Donald J. Trump’s recent confirmation in his speech to congress that the 2000-mile-long US-Mexican Border wall will go ahead as planned, Mr. Sean Spicer let slip some of the details being discussed. First Mr. Spicer hinted that the projected costs being discussed by fake journalists of $700 gazillion “were wildly inaccurate and that the costs would be considerably less because we have come up with a cunning plan”. When pressed on this Mr. Spicer confirmed that following extensive planning and testing by a team of highly talented structural engineers from the renowned Muckypups Pre-school and Kindergarten, it has been decided that the wall will be built of MegaBlocks. Mr. Spicer asserted that “this exceptional team has proved the durability and robustness of MegaBlocks as the idea material. Its cheap, easy to maintain and you can easily wipe off sticky finger prints”
In further startling flashes of insight Mr. Spicer stated that a new command structure was to be created to oversee the operation and patrolling of the border, “There will be one overall command which will be an amalgamation of the US border Patrol and National Rifle Association (NRA) members. We are designating this as the Mexican Area Command (MAC) who will assume overall responsibility for the entire wall.” Spicer then confirmed that due to the numbers of Mexicans estimated to be eligible for expulsion each state would have a central processing area to oversee the chucking out of undesirables. “Under the oversight of MAC each state will have its own structure responsible for its specific zone and these we will designate as Command Headquarters for the Expedited Expulsion Zone (CHEEZ).
At this point in the briefing Mr. Spicer introduced Ms. Holes who was stoked to confirm that “once the MAC and CHEEZ is finished our members will be invited to volunteer for patrol and guard duties alongside our massively overworked pals in the Border Patrol” Ms Holes announced that to assist in keeping the costs of the operation of the wall as low as possible “our NRA is proud to provide NRA volunteers who will join a new fully tool-up paramilitary organisation called Tactical Assistance and Combat Operations Support (TACOS). Mr. Spicer confirmed that President Trump was super chuffed at the prospect of MAC and CHEEZ with TACOS and that they would be delivered to the Whitehouse on time and not consume too much of the national budget.
In further news yesterday 18 deaths and 35 injuries were recorded but Ms. Holes confirmed that none were the responsibility of TACOS non-fast food incidents
#fakenews
Washington.
1st March 2017
In a joint press gaggle yesterday Whitehouse press spokesman Mr. Sean Spicer and National Rifle Association (NRA) spokesgal Nada C. Holes started to flesh out some details for the proposed US-Mexican Border wall. Following President Donald J. Trump’s recent confirmation in his speech to congress that the 2000-mile-long US-Mexican Border wall will go ahead as planned, Mr. Sean Spicer let slip some of the details being discussed. First Mr. Spicer hinted that the projected costs being discussed by fake journalists of $700 gazillion “were wildly inaccurate and that the costs would be considerably less because we have come up with a cunning plan”. When pressed on this Mr. Spicer confirmed that following extensive planning and testing by a team of highly talented structural engineers from the renowned Muckypups Pre-school and Kindergarten, it has been decided that the wall will be built of MegaBlocks. Mr. Spicer asserted that “this exceptional team has proved the durability and robustness of MegaBlocks as the idea material. Its cheap, easy to maintain and you can easily wipe off sticky finger prints”
In further startling flashes of insight Mr. Spicer stated that a new command structure was to be created to oversee the operation and patrolling of the border, “There will be one overall command which will be an amalgamation of the US border Patrol and National Rifle Association (NRA) members. We are designating this as the Mexican Area Command (MAC) who will assume overall responsibility for the entire wall.” Spicer then confirmed that due to the numbers of Mexicans estimated to be eligible for expulsion each state would have a central processing area to oversee the chucking out of undesirables. “Under the oversight of MAC each state will have its own structure responsible for its specific zone and these we will designate as Command Headquarters for the Expedited Expulsion Zone (CHEEZ).
At this point in the briefing Mr. Spicer introduced Ms. Holes who was stoked to confirm that “once the MAC and CHEEZ is finished our members will be invited to volunteer for patrol and guard duties alongside our massively overworked pals in the Border Patrol” Ms Holes announced that to assist in keeping the costs of the operation of the wall as low as possible “our NRA is proud to provide NRA volunteers who will join a new fully tool-up paramilitary organisation called Tactical Assistance and Combat Operations Support (TACOS). Mr. Spicer confirmed that President Trump was super chuffed at the prospect of MAC and CHEEZ with TACOS and that they would be delivered to the Whitehouse on time and not consume too much of the national budget.
In further news yesterday 18 deaths and 35 injuries were recorded but Ms. Holes confirmed that none were the responsibility of TACOS non-fast food incidents
#fakenews