1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Discuss politics - join our community by registering for free here! HOP - the political discussion forum

Satire anyone?

Discussion in 'U.S. Politics' started by GenSeneca, Jun 11, 2008.

  1. GenSeneca

    GenSeneca Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2008
    Messages:
    6,245
    Likes Received:
    501
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Location:
    ={CaLiCo}= HQ
    I like to write political satire.... anyone else? If so, please share!

    This is a piece I wrote just after Gore was given his Nobel Peace Prize - Not for bringing peace mind you, but for making a (factually inaccurate) movie...

    ...Not to mention MILLIONS from his companies sales of Carbon Offsets.

    Carbon Offsets For Sale:

    Former Vice president Al Gore has been in the news lately for his award winning documentary, "An Inconvenient Truth", which has brought him harsh criticism from his detractors. Specifically Gore has come under fire as a hypocrite for his energy usage. Gore does wield a very large Carbon Footprint (C.F.) whether cruising the world in his private jet or just relaxing in his 24,000 sq. ft. Primary residence in Tennessee.

    Wishing to be a good steward of the environment, Gore purchases Carbon Offsets from a company where he happens to be the chairman. But this is not a benefit available to other prosperous individuals with large Carbon Footprints. I find it unfair that Carbon Offsets are not available to everyone, so I have come up with a solution for the environmentally concerned to purchase a private version of the Carbon Offsets Gore enjoys.

    First I went about calculating my own C.F. based on my energy and fossil fuel usage, then subtracted that number from the national average. The realization that my C.F. is very small and the difference between it and the average is quite substantial, led me to consider selling my unused portion as a Carbon Offset Credit Key or C.O.C.K.

    As it turns out I have a huge C.O.C.K. that any affluent Carbon consumer can use to feel better about their personal excesses. Its not only the size of my C.O.C.K. thats attractive, it can be used as a defense against those who would ridicule your large Carbon Footprint. If someone complains about your damage to the environment, my C.O.C.K. can be the first thing out of your mouth, ready to defend your lavish lifestyle. In fact, if I had a large scale promotional outlet, such as the internet, my C.O.C.K. would be on everyones lips as the answer to Carbon decadence.

    My B.A.L.L.S. are equally impressive. I have only 5 lights at my small home while the average home has 26 leaving me a Below Average Light/Lumination Supply. The 5 lights I do have are all Compact Fluorescent lights which, in my humble home, consume very little energy and further increases the size of my B.A.L.L.S. The resulting positive effect on the environment leaves the environmentally concerned scrambling to get their hands on my B.A.L.L.S. for private use in their home.

    Until the issue of Man-Made Global Climate Change is settled, my C.O.C.K. and B.A.L.L.S. should be on the minds of concerned environmentalists looking for new ways to ensure the longevity of the planet and protect it from the environmentally reckless. If your concerned about the environment, like Al Gore, but don't want the inconvenience of changing your lifestyle to reflect your convictions, my C.O.C.K. and B.A.L.L.S. are the answer your looking for!

    My C.O.C.K. and B.A.L.L.S. together total 996,347 lbs of unused Carbon which I'm selling in bundles at $1 per pound. At such a reasonable price, I doubt my current stock will last long. So act fast!
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    I hope others will have some original satire to share, regardless of its political viewpoint. :)
     
    Pandora likes this.
  2. Pandora

    Pandora Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2008
    Messages:
    11,790
    Likes Received:
    257
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Location:
    The people's republic of Eugene
    That was so funny, my eyes are watering, my tummy hurts from laughing so hard. You have to send this to Al Gore. He will hate your guts but he might laugh a bit, heck he will laugh a whole lot!


    very very good!
     
  3. Pandora

    Pandora Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2008
    Messages:
    11,790
    Likes Received:
    257
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Location:
    The people's republic of Eugene
    While searching for a thread for a new member I found this. Its so funny I must bump it up some.
     
  4. rationalist

    rationalist New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2009
    Messages:
    621
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Genseneca, your acronynms are too laboured
     
  5. bododie

    bododie New Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2008
    Messages:
    1,639
    Likes Received:
    27
    Trophy Points:
    0
    I think it's great. You also gave a lib something to complain about, which is the ONLY thing they are good at. Everybody is happy.
     
  6. rationalist

    rationalist New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2009
    Messages:
    621
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    It is peurile drivel.

    But I suppose that if reading the words 'cock' and 'balls' makes you laugh you are probably perfect neocon material.

    I would mention farts and bottoms but I fear your sides would split.
     
  7. Little-Acorn

    Little-Acorn Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2009
    Messages:
    2,444
    Likes Received:
    151
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Location:
    San Diego, CA
    Life must be extraordinarily dreary for those with no sense of humor.

    C'est dommage.
     
  8. bododie

    bododie New Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2008
    Messages:
    1,639
    Likes Received:
    27
    Trophy Points:
    0
    That's because you are delusional and defensive. That mindset is the fun part. You libs are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO easy to screw with. Actually, cock and balls, farts and bottoms is something that MEN spend their entire lives laughing about from the age when they "discover" their best friend. It's not a political thing, but nice try. What a clown. Better keep your son's hands out of his pants. He might grow up to be a neocon. Lol.
     
  9. rationalist

    rationalist New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2009
    Messages:
    621
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Don't get me wrong, I laughed loud and long upon reading the words 'cock' and 'balls'.

    When I was 6
     
  10. bododie

    bododie New Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2008
    Messages:
    1,639
    Likes Received:
    27
    Trophy Points:
    0
    So... you knew about those things at six? Wow your daddy must have started on you really early. Lol.
     
  11. rationalist

    rationalist New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2009
    Messages:
    621
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    You really are giving a lot away about yourself today aren't you?
     
  12. bododie

    bododie New Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2008
    Messages:
    1,639
    Likes Received:
    27
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Do tell, what am I?
     
  13. rationalist

    rationalist New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2009
    Messages:
    621
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    If I told you you would squeal to the mods.
     
  14. bododie

    bododie New Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2008
    Messages:
    1,639
    Likes Received:
    27
    Trophy Points:
    0
    You don't know anything about anything.
     
  15. rationalist

    rationalist New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2009
    Messages:
    621
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Ok, you find the words 'cock' and 'balls' amusing which suggests a highly underdeveloped sense of humour bordering on the imbecillic.

    Your explanation of a six year old having read the words 'cock' and 'balls' is that that this indicates an incestuous attack by the father. This is so unspeakably vile and inappropriate that we must conclude that you are very damaged.

    You write 'you don't know anything about anything' which is clearly ridiculous as you are reading this. This suggests that you struggle with logic.

    So far so good?
     
Loading...

Share This Page