If Jesus had been an American

That wouldn't stop Americans

When Eartha Kitt went to the white house and sat next to Mrs Johnson she said she thought the Vietnam war was about heroin

This upset Mrs J so the CIA made up lewd stories about her to discredit her so that eventually she was hounded out of the US

Trust me, if a long haired guy arrived in the US preaching peace and love, the minute it looked like attracting followers the CIA would fix him either through assassination like Martingale Luther King or Kennedy or through fictional character assassination and they would probably construct a 'socialist' lie as that works so well in the US

John Lennon was under investigation for fuck's sake for promoting peace

Jesus Christ would be taken out promptly in your lovely Christian cuntry
 
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Dawkinsrocks said:
That wouldn't stop Americans

When Eartha Kitt went to the white house and sat next to Mrs Johnson she said she thought the Vietnam war was about heroin

This upset Mrs J so the CIA made up lewd stories about her to discredit her so that eventually she was hounded out of the US

Trust me, if a long haired guy arrived in the US preaching peace and love, the minute it looked like attracting followers the CIA would fix him either through assassination like Martingale Luther King or Kennedy or through fictional character assassination and they would probably construct a 'socialist' lie as that works so well in the US

John Lennon was under investigation for fuck's sake for promoting peace

Jesus Christ would be taken out promptly in your lovely Christian cuntry
Click to expand...


Mrs Johnson was not of the religious right. Nice try but missed by a mile with your tangent.
 
I know which president wore which badge

This thread is titled 'if Jesus had been an American

I believe mrs Johnson and the CIA are American

Hard luck dog

0/10 for ability
 
Dawkinsrocks said:
They brought the blind man to him and Jesus said ''Do you have health insurance?' and the man, being blind and therefore poor, replied 'no' and so Jesus said 'have you got thousands of shekels' and the blind man being blind and therefore poor said 'no, master'

And so Jesus said 'then get out of my way you worthless peasant, why should I use my labour to help you see?'.

The lame man. being net in line crawled away asking why Jesus went round saying he is the greatest person on earth.

Later Jesus made a speech on a mount and he said if someone takes your scarf, givee them your caot as well.

The blind man and the lame mad couldn't believe what they were hearing and shouted 'hypocrite'

If they had stayed they would have heard Jesus say,' if someone slaps you, bomb the living shit out of them by the thousand'
Click to expand...


Jesus was a real person, of that no serious scholar doubts. What we know about Him is that he was given a lot in donations but did not have money because His group used it, often, to help the poor. His immediate followers were often found to be penniless and dependent on the kindness of strangers when they entered a new city specifically because they had used all their money to help those less fortunate than them. America today is the most generous country on the planet and among our generous citizens the Christians are the most generous of the lot.
 
Dawkinsrocks said:
Many people came to hear Jesus saying blessed are the warmongers

Blessed are the loud and aggressive

And someone said 'master, the people are hungry, how shall we feed them?'

Jesus said 'what do we have?' to which they answered 'five loaves and two fishes'

Jesus then said break the food up and sell it the crowd.

'but master' they cried, 'many don't have any money for they are sore poor'

'fuck them' said Jesus ' if those bastards are too lazy to work it is immoral for them to eat off the sweat of my brow. Let the bastards starve'

And lo, Jesus made a tidy profit and the few people who starved were a small price to pay
Click to expand...


The first post appeared to be a parody to poke fun at Americans but also schizophrenic since it could not decide if it hated Americans more than Jesus. This post makes even less sense.

This isnt even a parody it is just nonsense. Hateful anti-theist nonsense that does not even make atheists look bad as most people can realize that these views do not even represent atheism.
 
Dawkinsrocks said:
They brought the blind man to him and Jesus said ''Do you have health insurance?' and the man, being blind and therefore poor, replied 'no' and so Jesus said 'have you got thousands of shekels' and the blind man being blind and therefore poor said 'no, master'

And so Jesus said 'then get out of my way you worthless peasant, why should I use my labour to help you see?'.

The lame man. being net in line crawled away asking why Jesus went round saying he is the greatest person on earth.

Later Jesus made a speech on a mount and he said if someone takes your scarf, givee them your caot as well.

The blind man and the lame mad couldn't believe what they were hearing and shouted 'hypocrite'

If they had stayed they would have heard Jesus say,' if someone slaps you, bomb the living shit out of them by the thousand'
Click to expand...

JESUS, THE MISSING YEARS

John Prine - 1991

It was raining it was cold West Bethlehem was no place for a twelve year old So he packed his bags and he headed out To find out what the world's about. He went to France he went to Spain. He found love he found pain He found stores so he started to shop But he had no money so he got in trouble with a cop. Kids in trouble wiht the cops from Israel didn't have no home. So he cut his hair and moved to Rome. It was there he met his Irish bride. And they rented a flat on the lower east side...... Of Rome Italy that is...... Music publishers, book binders, bible belters, Swimming pools, orgies and lots of pretty Italian chicks.

Charley bought some popcorn Billy bought a car Someone almost bought the farm But they didn't go that far Things shut down at midnight At least around here they do Cause we all reside down the block inside At 23 skidoo.

Wine was flowing so were beers So Jesus found his missing years. He went to a dance and said, "This don't move me" So he hiked up his pants and he went to a movie. On his thirteenth birthday he saw 'Rebel Without a Cause'. He went straight on home and invented Santa Claus, Who gave him a gift, And he responded in kind. He gave the gift of love and went out of his mind. You see him and the wife wasn't getting along, So he took out his guitar and he wrote a song Called 'The Dove Of Love Fell Off The Perch', But he couldn't get divorced in the Catholic Church. At least not back then anyhow.

Jesus was a good guy, he didn't need this shit, So he took a pill with a Coca-Cola and he swallowed it. He discovered the Beatles. He recorded with the Stones. Once he even opened up a three way package For old George Jones The years passed by like sweet little days With babies crying pork chops and Beaujolais. When he woke up he was seventeen. The world was angry the world was mean. Why the man down the street and the kid on the stoop All agreed that life stank....... all the world smelled like poop. Baby poop that is, the worst kind.

So he grew his hair long and threw away his comb. And headed back to Jerusalem to find mom, dad and home, But when he got there the cupboard was bare Except for an old black man with a fishing rod. He said, "Whatcha gonna be when you grow up?" Jesus said "God".

Oh my God what have I gotten myself into? I'm a human corkscrew and all my wine is blood They're gonna kill me Mama, they don't like me Bud. So Jesus went to heaven and he went there awful quick. All them people killed him and He wasn't even sick.

So come and gather around me my contemporary peers And I'll tell you all the story Of Jesus ... the missing years
 
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