When Osama bin Laden died, George Washington met him at the Pearly Gates. He slapped him across the face and yelled, "How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive?" Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and shouted, "You wanted to end our liberties but you failed."
James Madison followed, kicked him in the groin and said, "This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!" Thomas Jefferson was next, beat Osama with a long cane and snarled, "It was evil men like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of Independence."
The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James Monroe and 66 other early Americans unleashed their anger on the terrorist leader.
As Osama lay bleeding and in pain, allah appeared. Bin Laden wept and said, "You promised me 72 virgins."
Allah replied, "72 Virginians you imbecile."
A life long supporter of the labour party was lying on his death bed when he suddenly decided to join the Tory party.
"But why?" asked his puzzled friend, "You're labour through and through… Why change now?"
The man learned forward and explained, "Well, I'd rather it was one of them that died and not one of us."