Why did the chicken cross the road

Pandora

Well-Known Member
Joined
Apr 6, 2008
Messages
11,790
Location
The people's republic of Eugene
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

GEORGE W. BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want
to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or
not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is
no middle ground here. If the chicken WON'T willingly cross
the road, we will lead a coalition of the willing to escort it.

COLIN POWELL
This is not about whether inspectors made sure the chicken crossed the
road, it's about the willingness of the chicken to
cross the road voluntarily.

AL GORE
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken
crossing the road represented the application of these
two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed
to bring greater services to the American
people.

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken?
Could you define chicken, please?

RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted
by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did
not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it
was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was
getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet
someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens
with crossing-the-road syndrome. How much more
of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by
their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm
talking about your money, money the government took from you to build
roads for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs
when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any
insider information.

JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the
plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was
going to the "other side." That's what they call it -- the other side.
Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that
chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we
sort out this abomination that the liberal media
whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."

DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes,
The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!


ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without having their motives called into question.

KEVIN WIRTH
The chicken crossed the road to prove to the possum it was possable.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told
us that the chicken crossed the road, and that
was good enough for us.

BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of
how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish
its life-long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?

CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens
have to cross before you believe it?

SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part
of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
chicken?

JOHNNY COCHRAN
Because the road was black and the chicken was white. We must acquit.

THE BIBLE
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou
shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed
the road, and there was much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?


This is kinda old but I thought this was cute. I wonder what funny sayings could be put behind some of the people currently running?
 
Werbung:

palerider

Well-Known Member
Joined
Feb 26, 2007
Messages
4,624
The truth is that the chicken crossed the road to show the armadillos that it could be done.
 

PLC1

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Apr 20, 2007
Messages
10,631
Location
The Golden State
why did the evil chicken cross the road?

For a fowl purpose.

Why did the liberal chicken cross the road?

He wanted to make a left turn.

Why did the dittohead chicken cross the road?

He heard that only liberals walk on the left side of the road. Good, red blooded, patriotic chickens only walk on the right side. Walking on the left side causes global warming and brain decay.

Why did the pervert cross the road?

He was stuck to the chicken.

Why did Bill Clinton's chicken cross the road?

That depends on the meaning of the word road, and the word cross.
 

PLC1

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Apr 20, 2007
Messages
10,631
Location
The Golden State
oh that is so funny! can you come up with one about Obama. I have tried but I cant think of anything funny.

I know my pastor said that the chicken crossed the road, but I don't agree with everything he says. He didn't cross the road if he is an elitist chicken, but if he is a small town chicken he crossed the road to seek comfort in religion and guns. If he's a Jewish chicken, then he's my friend, just like Louis Ferrikhan.

That's the best I can do. Is there anyone else who wants to make up a better one?

And no, I don't know how to spell Ferrikhan.
 

Pandora

Well-Known Member
Joined
Apr 6, 2008
Messages
11,790
Location
The people's republic of Eugene
I know my pastor said that the chicken crossed the road, but I don't agree with everything he says. He didn't cross the road if he is an elitist chicken, but if he is a small town chicken he crossed the road to seek comfort in religion and guns. If he's a Jewish chicken, then he's my friend, just like Louis Ferrikhan.

That's the best I can do. Is there anyone else who wants to make up a better one?

And no, I don't know how to spell Ferrikhan.

I love it! now that you started it i can see where more can be added in, like i wasnt in church the day my pastor told him to cross the road and i was totally shocked that he had those feelings about the chicken :)

thank you, that made me smile !!!
 

Cassidy

Member
Joined
Jul 16, 2009
Messages
8
Location
america
Why did the American chicken cross the road?

He heard health care was better on the other side.

You could turn it around and say

Why did the Canadian chicken cross the road..

both would work depending on what your view point is.
 

top gun

Well-Known Member
Joined
May 15, 2007
Messages
4,940
Location
Ohio, USA
why did the evil chicken cross the road?

For a fowl purpose.

Why did the liberal chicken cross the road?

He wanted to make a left turn.

Why did the dittohead chicken cross the road?

He heard that only liberals walk on the left side of the road. Good, red blooded, patriotic chickens only walk on the right side. Walking on the left side causes global warming and brain decay.

Why did the pervert cross the road?

He was stuck to the chicken.

Why did Bill Clinton's chicken cross the road?

That depends on the meaning of the word road, and the word cross.

That is a good one... especially on Clinton. It depends what the meaning of IS, is!:)
 

PLC1

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Apr 20, 2007
Messages
10,631
Location
The Golden State
While going across, he was hoping not to get run over by a semi. Then he saw some change in the middle of the road. When he stopped to peck at it, his hope didn't come to fruition.

The coyote didn't care about hope or change, but he had a nice easy chicken meal.
 
Werbung:

Pandora

Well-Known Member
Joined
Apr 6, 2008
Messages
11,790
Location
The people's republic of Eugene
While going across, he was hoping not to get run over by a semi. Then he saw some change in the middle of the road. When he stopped to peck at it, his hope didn't come to fruition.

The coyote didn't care about hope or change, but he had a nice easy chicken meal.

that was a good one :)

I like these chicken jokes
 
Top