Ok, but, how do you really feel


Well-Known Member
Oct 2, 2006
Every Christmas eve, the local bar is packed and alcohol sales rise. Years back, when I worked at a convenience store, the closer it got to Christmas, the ornerier people became. Christmas eve was the worst. We hear of a greater suicide rate and domestic violence rises as well during the Christmas season. It is supposed to be such a joyous and celebrated time of year.
Why does this happen year after year?
How do we help each other?
It kindof makes sense right? The more joyous the occasion is suppose to be, the more people who arent feeling that way will feel like outsiders. People who dont have family to celebrate with, or people who don't believe, etc. Personally I love hanging out with my family, but I think I'm lucky for that because I know many people who find the holidays to be a trying experience.

The best way I can think of to help would be to invite people over, especially if you know theyre home alone over the holidays.
I love the holiday season but I can see how it could be very stressful or a sad occasion for some. We just recently lost my step mother in law. So this year it is a little more of a somber occasion for us and my husbands family.
Christmas is now a very tough holiday for me. It was only 3 years ago, when my parents came to get me from college to take me home from break, that I found out my grandmother was in the hospital. I saw her twice, the last time being on Christmas day. She died 12 hours later. It was a very bittersweet holiday.
I recently found out that an acquaintance of mine was going to be alone on Christmas day. Not by choice, but by circumstance.

A long time ago, my first marriage broke up right after Thanksgiving. Pride kept me from admitting I was going to be alone on Christmas Day, so I endured the day alone.

Fact is that for every one of us who is going to be with loved ones for the holiday, there is probably someone out there who is weighed down with concerns or feels they have nowhere to go. Pride may keep them from going to places they could go and at least be with people.
I definately think that lonliness in the major contrinutor of holday depression. I also think that finances and stresses put on us by family, work and limited time worsne the symptoms. Many of us do not know how to deal with these problems or do not know who to turn to.
Hmmm, perhaps this can be in part encapsulated by workaholic syndrome? A basic model of social evolution (let's pick up the story from halfway) includes the description of the effects of more efficient work practices- one would have thought that it would help generate more free time, but it didn't as instead workload expanded. I'm thinking that we're at a stage where this workload has actually outgrown our efficiency- humans are being worked past their limits in many places. I've explained why in other places so I won't repeat myself!
Hmmmm...perhaps in regard to the holidays, we could classify this phenomenon of the workaholic as almost having a Scrooge overlay? We sacrifice the chance to build relationships by focusing on work to an inordinate and unhealthy degree, leading to us being lonely at times when loved ones are gathering in clusters all around us.

Makes sense to me.
So I guess the really big question (two actually) is: if we find ourselves lonely at Christmas, what do we do about it? And if we discover someone who is lonely at Christmas time, what type of solace and/or support do we extend, without getting too deep into someone else's business?
I would think that if you know someone is going to be alone on Christmas, that you might be willing to include them somehow. I know that you wouldn't want to include them in "family" time, but surely there's something they could be included in them.
Funnily enough, The Simpsons often has something to say about this. Think the episode where Bart goes to juvie, or the Funzo robot invasion, or...the list could go on.