Son of God in the dark.

Irishone21

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May 30, 2007
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442
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Kingsville
Another day alone. I feel like it's the world versus me, but many know this emotion. What can I do. People don't aknowledge my struggle, but who am I too complain it there are others worse than me? Thought of killing myself? Sure, but I would never go to that extent. Bored with my social status, embarassed by my reputation, but nonetheless, I walk on, praying for change. Getting in shape, overcoming addiction, all necessary, but increasingly difficult when stricken to ignorance, living a world of sin. Difficult to rise with no friends, and even those who earned my friendship can't help me now. Can't force a smile when nothing makes me happy. I feel phony when I joke around, as if I'm overlooking all the things that we are facing in a world where the majority are foreigners. A light complexion doesn't help me, no matter what the people say. I'm lonely. My lack of self-esteem ruins me when I seek out my soul-mate. No matter what I say, I'm left alone. Depressed, bored with TV, frustrated, and as time goes on, the more I look past addiction, the more aggressive and mad at the world I become. Is this aggression required? Maybe so. Whatever it takes. I can no longer take this state of lonliness. My experiences formerely spoken of have been already forgotten, so it seems. No one has looked into their significance, so it is almost as if it didn't happen, since, like much of my experiences, I was alone.

Sprits have used my body, making their presence known both in action, and in mind. I do not understand whether this was for the purpose of my protection, their ammusement, or mere experimentation (control of body and mind) where in which the supernatural wasn't involved. Regardless, I'm confused, and wonder whether I will ever know the true meaning behind these nebulous invasions.

I still don't tell my visions, as loyalty is a value of mine.
 
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Another day alone. I feel like it's the world versus me, but many know this emotion. What can I do. People don't aknowledge my struggle, but who am I too complain it there are others worse than me? Thought of killing myself? Sure, but I would never go to that extent. Bored with my social status, embarassed by my reputation, but nonetheless, I walk on, praying for change. Getting in shape, overcoming addiction, all necessary, but increasingly difficult when stricken to ignorance, living a world of sin. Difficult to rise with no friends, and even those who earned my friendship can't help me now. Can't force a smile when nothing makes me happy. I feel phony when I joke around, as if I'm overlooking all the things that we are facing in a world where the majority are foreigners. A light complexion doesn't help me, no matter what the people say. I'm lonely. My lack of self-esteem ruins me when I seek out my soul-mate. No matter what I say, I'm left alone. Depressed, bored with TV, frustrated, and as time goes on, the more I look past addiction, the more aggressive and mad at the world I become. Is this aggression required? Maybe so. Whatever it takes. I can no longer take this state of lonliness. My experiences formerely spoken of have been already forgotten, so it seems. No one has looked into their significance, so it is almost as if it didn't happen, since, like much of my experiences, I was alone.

Sprits have used my body, making their presence known both in action, and in mind. I do not understand whether this was for the purpose of my protection, their ammusement, or mere experimentation (control of body and mind) where in which the supernatural wasn't involved. Regardless, I'm confused, and wonder whether I will ever know the true meaning behind these nebulous invasions.

I still don't tell my visions, as loyalty is a value of mine.

You are loved by God and when the creator of the universe loves you I suppose that makes you worthy of love.

Loneliness, struggles, social status, physical attributes, reputation, addiction, seem important but they are wisps of smoke in the grand scheme of things. Those who love God will be with Him in 10,000 years and none of the things on that list will matter anymore.

For now focus on what is important and not on that which is fading away. (1 john 2:17)

Matthew 6:19
"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

The rest of the chapter just this verse talks about the importance of doing works to benefit others. This is how one builds up treasure.

Paul says here what the purpose of work is:

He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.

The remedy for what ails us is usually to stop thinking about what ails us and to start thinking about how to take care of the ailments of others.

Find a purpose greater than yourself!! See if your problems don't vanish when you are doing that which you were created for.

Here is a purpose that the bible gives:

"Love your God with all your heart and all your soul and all your strength and all your mind and love your neighbor as yourself."

I suggest learning that passage by heart - it will serve you well.

So what is required of you?

Here is another passage worth remembering:

"And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."

"God has said 'I will never leave you; I will never abandon you.' "
Heb 13:5

(I put a lot of quotes in here from the Bible. That is not usually my style. But the lesson to be learned is that there is a wealth of support and knowledge waiting there for you. I went through a list of my favorite 100 verses and pulled out a few but I wanted to take so many more for you. So open the book and let the Spirit lead you to more verses.
 
Has anyone ever met someone (a stranger) who knew their past? If this person was not working for the government, he/she is bound to be an angel on earth. I was wondering, because I experienced a situation where someone said things which signified that he knew my past. Not only this, when we were playing cards, he took the joker from my hand, and put it in someone elses hand, without me even realizing it.

Also, another situation, involving illiminati, and thier mind games, was a time where I met someone who quoted the statement "we are God," a statement in which someone had spoken to me within my mind, to which I replied with, "we are all son's and angels of God." I had fairly long conversations in my mind, but in regards to the demons, although they poisoned my head with illusion, I had sympathy for their subserviency. These illusions triggered a feeling I can't describe, and it could actually affect those I spoke too. My question is who is responsible for these mental invasions? Also, was the person I met, who called himself "the general," involved in these telepathatic conversations. We spoke of many intellectual things, and at the time my thoughts seemed so clear that it was almost as if someone was speaking for me. Regardless, I'd like to know more.
 
Has anyone ever met someone (a stranger) who knew their past? If this person was not working for the government, he/she is bound to be an angel on earth. I was wondering, because I experienced a situation where someone said things which signified that he knew my past. Not only this, when we were playing cards, he took the joker from my hand, and put it in someone elses hand, without me even realizing it.

Also, another situation, involving illiminati, and thier mind games, was a time where I met someone who quoted the statement "we are God," a statement in which someone had spoken to me within my mind, to which I replied with, "we are all son's and angels of God." I had fairly long conversations in my mind, but in regards to the demons, although they poisoned my head with illusion, I had sympathy for their subserviency. These illusions triggered a feeling I can't describe, and it could actually affect those I spoke too. My question is who is responsible for these mental invasions? Also, was the person I met, who called himself "the general," involved in these telepathatic conversations. We spoke of many intellectual things, and at the time my thoughts seemed so clear that it was almost as if someone was speaking for me. Regardless, I'd like to know more.

interesting experiences. you're ok now tho, right?:p
 
Yes, now I'm just curious as to how these things happened. It is a good thing that demons are not intriqued by me anymore, but in regards to the others, I'd like to know who they are, and the history of these supernatural crisis'. Thanks for asking though.
 
Yes, now I'm just curious as to how these things happened. It is a good thing that demons are not intriqued by me anymore, but in regards to the others, I'd like to know who they are, and the history of these supernatural crisis'. Thanks for asking though.

One possibility as to how these happened is that they were hallucinations. If you cannot even consider that as a possibility then they might be delusions as well.

I have had unusual experiences and I do consider that they might have been hallucinations. After careful consideration I have concluded that they were real. Only because they are consistent with the bible, harmed no one, brought me closer to God, etc. In short, they make sense in a world where God talks to people occasionally.

If the natural world, the bible, and your experiences cannot be made to make sense together then at least one of them is messed up. I personally think it is more likely that one person's experiences are more likely to be in error than the natural world or the bible.
 
No they are not delusions or hallucinations. Very real experiences. I have also had miracles awhile back that happened subsequently to understanding the messages of the Bible.
 
No they are not delusions or hallucinations. Very real experiences. I have also had miracles awhile back that happened subsequently to understanding the messages of the Bible.

It sounds as though you have tested the spirits so to speak.

I hope that your walk brings you closer to the Lord with the peace that He brings. Here is another verse for your consideration: "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." 2 Cor 4:17.

But I do have a question. It sounds as though you are quite tortured. How is it that a child of God can be so tortured when he has been given the assurance that miracles and signs bring, to know that all that is to come is absolute? Many Christians have doubts but one who has seen miracles can set those doubts to rest. Granted we all need to grow in Christ; to be sanctified. Is it just that you lack sanctification?
 
I suppose we all do brother. I’ve been giving assurance of the first miracles. But yes, considering the many things God has bestowed on me, I would say that I am not as pure as I should be. I pray for mercy, for all my flaws and inadequacies. I also experienced a time where in which I could captivate voices. I believe it may have been telepathy. One time, the other person actually verified the mind talk. Not to mention seeing a spirit at night time appear and quickly disappear. In addition, one time it felt as though one of my fantasies almost came to fruition. I felt touched, and had a few times where in which mental imagery was revealed in my mind.
 
I suppose we all do brother.

Yes we all do, brother.

I’ve been giving assurance of the first miracles. But yes, considering the many things God has bestowed on me, I would say that I am not as pure as I should be. I pray for mercy, for all my flaws and inadequacies.

There is no need at all for mercy for those who love God. You have been forgiven completely for all you have done or will do. There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ!!!

What there is, is the power of the Holy Spirit to help you to respond to Gods grace, to help you to overcome temptations. And even, if it is God's will, to overcome various sicknesses. We all get sick at times and there is no shame in that. Some are temporary, some will be healed by doctors, some will be healed by God alone, and some will never be healed at all - in the end we will all succumb to something and die.

I also experienced a time where in which I could captivate voices. I believe it may have been telepathy. One time, the other person actually verified the mind talk. Not to mention seeing a spirit at night time appear and quickly disappear. In addition, one time it felt as though one of my fantasies almost came to fruition. I felt touched, and had a few times where in which mental imagery was revealed in my mind.

I don't want to say it again, but I have developed a spirit of kindness toward you and so I hope you can hear this in the spirit it is intended.

But as I read your posts I still wonder if perhaps you are experienced a sickness that makes it hard to tell the difference between reality and what goes on in the mind. This would not preclude the possibility that God is communicating with you. We can know for a fact that God does love you and wants you to know about Him. Still, some of what you describe do sound more like hallucinations than miracles. Is this at all possible? Why or why not?:)
 
You would have to experience these things for yourself to understand where I'm coming from. These are the recent experiences, not the initial miracles that followed after reading the Bible. I have also encountered the dark side, as I have told you, not to mention had my mind engaged by angels that, as soon as this happened, my body felt like a machine (very euphoric). It is all very strange to me. That which I know is not real are the illusions. I don't blame you for questioning me. When people say they "talked to God," sometimes I wonder whether it was a technologically savvy organization that communicates with individuals within the mind. I kind of hope we can have more faith in each other, but it's easier to have faith in our own perception of reality, as oppose to that of others. I do wonder what will happen next in my life, but realize my faith needs work beforehand, as only when faith and spirits are high, do these things tend to happen.

Nevertheless, I thank you for your compassion.
 
You would have to experience these things for yourself to understand where I'm coming from. These are the recent experiences, not the initial miracles that followed after reading the Bible. I have also encountered the dark side, as I have told you, not to mention had my mind engaged by angels that, as soon as this happened, my body felt like a machine (very euphoric). It is all very strange to me. That which I know is not real are the illusions. I don't blame you for questioning me. When people say they "talked to God," sometimes I wonder whether it was a technologically savvy organization that communicates with individuals within the mind. I kind of hope we can have more faith in each other, but it's easier to have faith in our own perception of reality, as oppose to that of others. I do wonder what will happen next in my life, but realize my faith needs work beforehand, as only when faith and spirits are high, do these things tend to happen.

Nevertheless, I thank you for your compassion.

Best wishes on your journey.
 
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